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My ability to respond in a conscious Godly manner in the face of negative emotions is in direct proportion to my awareness around the truth that I am not another person’s emotional expressions. As I anchor my identity and beliefs in God, I am able to offer responses that validate, empathize and encourage the sender of the emotions. When I forget that I am safe and connected the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords I am vulnerable to defensive behavior which pushes people away and blocks healthy solutions. “1-Uping”, “You Should” and “At least” language will prevent a healthy flow of meaning between me and the sender of the emotions. Dear God, who will save me from my insecurities and self-doubt and fear? Thanks, be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord, I can give space for the Holy Spirit to anchor me in Christ’s confident, consistent loving kindness which will overflow into my emotional intelligence within relationships I encounter on my earth school journey.
Edge God In Podcast Week 16: Leadership: Relationship Management EQ
Self-Awareness => Self-Management
Social Awareness => Relationship Management
The focus of this study is on the 4th essential component of emotional intelligence which is relationship management. The 3rd step was geared towards your awareness around the emotions of other people and the 4th step is focused on your ability to handle in a health conscious way the emotions of other people. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people as well as process the emotions of other people from a conscious “lights-on” response space versus a reactive, defensive, “light-off” below the line manner.
How well do you manage the emotions of other people? Do you shut down in the face of strong emotions? Do you find yourself triggered and reacting with similar strong emotions when face to face with anger? Fear? Blame? Judgment?
Relationship Management: Managing the Emotions of Others:
Managing the emotions of others takes us understanding who we are. God, our Father is said to have two qualities; he is spirit and he is the soul. In John 4:24, he tells us that “God is spirit”. In Hebrew and Greek, the words for Spirit are commonly connected to terms of reflection, intellect, and intention. Being that we are made in the image of God, it is important that we know how to manage the emotions of others in a way that God would have us do, demonstrated to us numerous times in the scripture.
Gal 5:16 taught us that we as Christians, we should walk in the spirit and not by the flesh. It says, “But I say, live by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.
Setting our perspective for this is important, because not setting it leads to unmanaged emotions like gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors.
Romans 8:5 says, “For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. 6 For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do”.
We must also understand that managing the emotions of our spirit and others develops the fruits of the spirit.
Gal 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentlenesses, and self-control”.
And lastly, we need to know how to relate to God and to people which God shows us in Phil 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.
High Noticing Emotions: So how do set our perspective? our ego? Or managing the emotions of our spirit and others? And how do we relate to God and to people? How well am I imagine the emotions of others? Do you mirror the negative emotions of others?
Identify & Integrate:
Here are Godly steps you can take to managing your emotions and those of others.
- Put off the qualities that negatively affect relationships and recognize what’s going on in the life of yourself and others. Doing this frees the pain that keeps us from seeing the life and suffering of others.
- Put to death the inward negative moods and appetites that destroy inner peace and joy. This will trigger you to stop any action or thought that negatively affects the building and maintenance of relationships.
- Reckoning to Gods picture of reality by using heavenly perspectives and pursuing heavenly relationships. This will create the foundation to build and grow relationships as he would have us do.
We have to work to set our minds on the types of relationships we will have above (in heaven) and realize that we control our thinking. When we do this, it allows us to be other-centered individuals that can start positive relationships, the kind God sees for us.
Dear God, grant me the grace of temperance. Help me to listen to understand verses listening to be understood. When people react to me with unkind words and judgments grant me the strength to pause and listen for your voice…perhaps you will say, “leave it…do not pick up that hot coal of unkind behavior, if you do, it will burn you and then the wound will be yours to heal…borrow my love and kindness and release.”
~ Estella Lauren