Podcast 17:A Negativity Detox: Step 1

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Edge God In Podcast Week 17: A Negativity Detox: Step 1

The focus for this study is a very timely topic and as we find ourselves surrounded by negativity. Let’s face it, you can’t give out to the world what you don’t take time to master within. With that said, it makes perfect sense that the first step in a negativity detox requires high noticing around the negative elements you are allowing into your interior castle, those tenants that you are giving free rent to who are trashing your interior world, AND a willingness by the assistance of the HELPER, the Holy Spirit to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 is a worthy verse of memorization: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Learn:

The discovery of mirror neurons, in my opinion, is one of those biological wake up calls that reveals an essential element to the point of entry of negativity: our thought life… which ignites our emotional state of being. An emotion is simply your body’s response to your thought life. Mirror neurons fire in the sender of information and the receiver. Basically, anger evokes anger, love evokes love. Whatever you are experiencing emotionally triggers similar emotions in people around you. God biologically wired us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. What was meant for good can easily be flipped to evil when we allow the emotions of envy, strife, bitterness, and judgment live under the roof of our minds.

 

Once you invite the Holy Spirit within your interior castle to help you master this space and detox your mind by evicting those tenants who thrive on negativity: drama judgment/accusation/shame, conflict, confusion, overwhelm, fear, doubt, worry you begin to reclaim the inner freedom of positivity Christ died to give you and you are then in a position to be able to step into being the light of the world, a city set on a hill to give light to all who see it.

As Romans 12:1 reveals to us the way in which we transform out of negativity into the positive, confident space of the One who has equipped us with a spirit of power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7, self-control over negative rumination) is to meditate upon that which is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

Reflect: Read Matthew 5:14-16

  • How much time do I spend meditating on what is beautiful in the eyes of the Lord?
  • What is your “basket” that dims your light? What specific negative thoughts keep you from putting your light on a lampstand for all to see? What will it take to remove your basket?
  • What specific shiny objects draw me away from my calling to be a light in this world, a city set on a hill?
  • What negative thoughts do I want to detox from my life so that my light can shine before men in such a way that others see my good works and glorify God?

Identify & Integrate:

Be aware: those little serpents do not evacuate without a fight. Messages will pop up out of nowhere sabotaging your best efforts to evict and detox your head trash. Messages like: “WHAT? You might miss out on something if you don’t stay in the know of the drama! The judgment of others keeps you safe in your belief system. Conflict keeps you in the game. Who would you be if you didn’t worry? Worry gives you a sense of control over the unknown. When you worry or fear at least you are alert and not caught off guard if something bad happens, you are standing guard and ready to fight.” You may want to step into the calm of Philippians 4:6 and live a life without anxiety but if your mind is filled with anxiety producing statements you will end up mucking around in negativity. As Jesus pointed out a house divided against itself will fall (Luke 11:17).

Pause for a moment and recall a negative thought that has won your approval over time.

For example, this is a popular one that shows up a lot in coaching sessions: “If I hold back my best then at least I can fall back on the fact that I didn’t give it my all.” OOOOOO that’s a good one. This creepy little reptile can hold you back from stepping into the freedom of Christ (Galatians 5:1) and living a life of confidence knowing that the One who calls you is faithful and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24). Its foundation is built on the shifting sand of a popular childhood wound: “My best is not enough” so as an adult you may conclude: “so why even try.” Jesus calls us up and out of our wounds that feed negativity in our lives. Integrate the verses into your thinking so that when you need to erase and replace a negative thought with three positive thoughts as mentioned later in this study you will have them available to the Holy Spirit:

  • “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not allow yourself to be burdened by the yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
  • “The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Maintain:

  • This week step into Meta-Cognition: Think about what you think about. What percentage of your thought life at the end of the day was devoted to positive thoughts: what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy? Narrow your negative thoughts: One less today than yesterday.
  • Practice 3-1. In order to override a negative thought pattern in our life, we need the assistance of the Holy Spirit. Science reveals that for every one negative thought it is essential to declare three positive thoughts to override the negative thought. Once you catch a negative thought by its tail and fling it out of your mind quickly declare three positive statements. For example, perhaps you just gave a presentation and your interior tenants of shame and not-enoughness start screaming at you: that’s all you’ve got? WHAT was that? Did you see your colleague yawning in the back of the room? BORRRING. You are not cut out for top management. As quickly as possible begin to declare God’s word over that situation: I believe in the Word of God which declares that whatever I commit to the Lord will succeed and He is able to cause all things to work together for an ultimate good in my life. I trust you, Jesus, to bless my efforts.
  • Memorize two verses from today’s study that you want to use to help detox negative thoughts from your mind:

“Whoever cleanses himself from what is ignoble and unclean, whoever separates himself from contact with contaminating and corrupting influences will be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work.” 2 Timothy 2:21

Dear God, help me to root out internal strife in my life. Make me a light of positivity in this world. I give you permission to detox my thought life. Cast out those thoughts that fuel stupid and foolish arguments and quarrels against myself and others. How can I offer kindness in this world if I am beating myself up in my head? Help me speak kind and supportive words to myself with a gentle and loving intonation. I know I cannot give out what I don’t take time to expand within my soul. In makes sense to me that the most powerful place to begin a negativity detox in my life starts with my own internal dialogue. Help me to use an intonation with myself that reflects the kindness and love of the Holy Spirit. May I be quick to linger in those positive affirming statements that are fueled by your presence and whispers in my life. I want to feel what it feels like to live out Romans 12:1 to be completely transformed by the renewing of my mind. Deeply refreshed and focused on what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy. Detox my thought life from all negativity.

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person in life

Podcast 16:Leadership: Relationship Management EQ

My ability to respond in a conscious Godly manner in the face of negative emotions is in direct proportion to my awareness around the truth that I am not another person’s emotional expressions. As I anchor my identity and beliefs in God, I am able to offer responses that validate, empathize and encourage the sender of the emotions. When I forget that I am safe and connected the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords I am vulnerable to defensive behavior which pushes people away and blocks healthy solutions. “1-Uping”, “You Should” and “At least” language will prevent a healthy flow of meaning between me and the sender of the emotions. Dear God, who will save me from my insecurities and self-doubt and fear? Thanks, be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord, I can give space for the Holy Spirit to anchor me in Christ’s confident, consistent loving kindness which will overflow into my emotional intelligence within relationships I encounter on my earth school journey.

Edge God In Podcast Week 16: Leadership: Relationship Management EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

The focus of this study is on the 4th essential component of emotional intelligence which is relationship management. The 3rd step was geared towards your awareness around the emotions of other people and the 4th step is focused on your ability to handle in a health conscious way the emotions of other people. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people as well as process the emotions of other people from a conscious “lights-on” response space versus a reactive, defensive, “light-off” below the line manner.

How well do you manage the emotions of other people? Do you shut down in the face of strong emotions? Do you find yourself triggered and reacting with similar strong emotions when face to face with anger? Fear? Blame? Judgment?

Learn:

Relationship Management: Managing the Emotions of Others:

Managing the emotions of others takes us understanding who we are. God, our Father is said to have two qualities; he is spirit and he is the soul.  In John 4:24, he tells us that “God is spirit”.  In Hebrew and Greek, the words for Spirit are commonly connected to terms of reflection, intellect, and intention. Being that we are made in the image of God, it is important that we know how to manage the emotions of others in a way that God would have us do, demonstrated to us numerous times in the scripture.

Gal 5:16 taught us that we as Christians, we should walk in the spirit and not by the flesh. It says, “But I say, live by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.

Setting our perspective for this is important, because not setting it leads to unmanaged emotions like gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors.

Romans 8:5 says, “For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. 6 For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do”.
We must also understand that managing the emotions of our spirit and others develops the fruits of the spirit.

Gal 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentlenesses, and self-control”.

And lastly, we need to know how to relate to God and to people which God shows us in Phil 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.

Reflect:

High Noticing Emotions: So how do set our perspective? our ego? Or managing the emotions of our spirit and others?  And how do we relate to God and to people? How well am I imagine the emotions of others? Do you mirror the negative emotions of others?

Identify & Integrate:

Here are Godly steps you can take to managing your emotions and those of others.

  1. Put off the qualities that negatively affect relationships and recognize what’s going on in the life of yourself and others. Doing this frees the pain that keeps us from seeing the life and suffering of others.
  2. Put to death the inward negative moods and appetites that destroy inner peace and joy. This will trigger you to stop any action or thought that negatively affects the building and maintenance of relationships.
  3. Reckoning to Gods picture of reality by using heavenly perspectives and pursuing heavenly relationships. This will create the foundation to build and grow relationships as he would have us do.

Maintain:

We have to work to set our minds on the types of relationships we will have above (in heaven) and realize that we control our thinking. When we do this, it allows us to be other-centered individuals that can start positive relationships, the kind God sees for us.

 Dear God, grant me the grace of temperance. Help me to listen to understand verses listening to be understood. When people react to me with unkind words and judgments grant me the strength to pause and listen for your voice…perhaps you will say, “leave it…do not pick up that hot coal of unkind behavior, if you do, it will burn you and then the wound will be yours to heal…borrow my love and kindness and release.”

~ Estella Lauren