What is your response when someone gets something you want? Can you imagine throwing off the negative emotions associated with comparison in 2018 how much mind space would be cleared up to maximize your unique gifts and talents to make God recognizable in our society?
Dear Lord, we stand in the midst of unsafe and insecure events that deeply trouble our hearts and shake our foundation of confidence. Help us Lord to lean our entire sense of security into you so much so that we feel the resurrected strength of your presence within us in every thought and action. Now is the time to let our light shine before men so that they may see our good works in the midst of darkness and give you glory. Awake Oh sleeper and rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Help us to outshine the darkness Lord, to rise up and stand for what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praise worthy. Help us to hold our peace, lean into your strength, for you are our refuge and fortress. Protect us from evil and charge your angels over us. Replace all fear with confidence that you are faithful and will never leave us or forsake us so we will declare: “the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.” Remind the fragility of our flesh what our soul always knows: “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Remind our mind of this very thing, that you have begun a good work in us and will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Comfort all who mourn tonight, and as the rose appears in the midst of thorns help us to remember that you do your greatest work in the darkest nights, we are simply passing through as your ambassadors, make your appeal through us.
Edge God In Podcast Week 19: How to Feel Secure in the Midst of Insecurity
In the previous podcast: Negativity Detox Step 2, we explored high noticing around those negative behaviors that block our ability to make God recognizable in this world along with those behaviors that empower us to with the ability to OUTSHINE the darkness. In this Edge God In podcast you will learn specific scriptures and practices to help you reclaim your God given ability to rebuke the spiritual forces of evil attempting to rob you of Christ’s peace by sabotaging your sense of safety and security through fear and anxiety.
If you submerge a container in water without equalizing the pressure within, the container will begin to crush the deeper you go in the water. Why? Simply put, the force on the outside is greater than the force on the inside.
In order to override the fear and anxiety fueled by the recent public shootings, our point of reference for our sense of safety and security must flow directly from our identity in Christ. There is no other source that will give us the ability to maintain inner peace and calm in the midst of chaos and darkness than the Prince of Peace and the Light of the World.
Now more than ever it is crucial for us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Why? As a man or woman thinks, their body will follow.
Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our sense of safety, worth/value and connection. As we give outside circumstance more authority than the power of God within us we render ourselves vulnerable to emotional turmoil. In order to override our fears, we must step into 1 John 4:4, zip it up around us and allow it to pour into our emotional acuity: “Greater is He who lives inside of me than He who lives in the world.”
In light of the recent tragedies another verse worthy of our memory is Matthew 10:28: “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”
There is a psychological practice called, “cognitive reframing” that involves stepping back from your fear and focusing on what you know, making a conscious shift in your mental perspective from fear to faith. As you step back from your anxiety fueled by recent public traumas and focus on what you know to be true about God’s promises to you, fear begins to lose its grip on you and you expand your identity in Christ who is perfect love and casts out all fear.
Overcoming stress and anxiety involves identifying and adjusting those perceptions that do not align with your heritage in Christ: “No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness (the quality of being right or justifiable) is of Me.” Isaiah 54:17
With that said, whatever you resist persists, it is also important to give yourself permission to feel any and every emotion without judgement, invite the Holy Spirit into your feelings. An emotion is your body’s response to your thought life. Allow yourself to feel what you feel as you sit with scripture that ignites a ray of light in the midst of darkness as Jesus did in the desert. When Jesus was face to face with evil He used scripture to bind, rebuke and cast out the forces of evil coming against him. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was able to enter His passion through the surrendering of His will to His Father’s will: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.” Luke 22:42
Reflect: Scriptures that Anchor Safety and Security:
- Fear not: for I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned: neither shall the flame kindle upon you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. – Isaiah 43: 1-3
- God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the middle of the sea. – Psalm 46:1-2
- And Moses said to the people, “Fear you not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will show to you today: for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you shall see them again no more forever. The Lord shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” – Exodus 14:13-14
- The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in Whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from my enemies. – Psalm 18:2-3
- He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God in Him will I trust. There shall no evil befall you, neither shall any plague come near your dwelling. For He shall give his angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. They shall bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone. – Psalm 91: 1-2; 10-12
- For the Lord shall be your confidence, and shall keep your foot from being taken. – Proverbs 3:26
- Fear not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes I will help you; yes I will uphold you with the right hand of My righteousness. – Isaiah 41:10
- And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand. My Father, which gave them to Me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of My Father’s hand. – John 10: 28-29
- “No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment you shall be condemned. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of Me,” says the Lord. – Isaiah 54:17
- For He has said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” So that we may boldly say, “The Lord is my Helper,” and I will not fear what man shall do to me. – Hebrews 13:5-6
- Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. – Matthew 10:28
Identify & Integrate:
Re-read the above verses. Identify 3 scriptures that speak directly to you. “Holy Spirit as I read through the scriptures above help me to be thoughtfully attentive to the word of God that helps me remember that the strength within me is greater that exterior circumstances.” Write those scriptures down and pray them into your life. For example, let’s say Matthew 10:28 is one of your scriptures: “Dear God grant me the grace of confidence and courage as I step away from fearing those who can kill the body and lean into trusting in you and living in reverence of your Sovereignty in my life and those I love. Replace any fear I am storing in my heart with your love and safety as I entrust my life and the lives of those I love into your care.”
- How will my belief in these specific scriptures strengthen my confidence in God’s care for me and those I love?
- How have the recent public shootings shifted my sense of security in public places?
- Do I experience more anxiety around my own safety of the safety of those I love?
- When I do drift into stress or anxiety in public places what do I want to remember ahead of time before stepping into those situations to help me feel more confident?
- What do I need to remember in order to increase my confidence and security in God’s protection and care in my life and the lives of those I love?
- As you become aware of anxiety associated with public places calm your body down through deep breathing along with tapping on your thymus which is located two inches down below the U-shaped dip in your neck. This area is one of many self-soothing spots on the body that releases a calming effect within your system. Because stress manifests itself in your biology it must be addressed at the source of expression: your body. As you tap on your thymus area simply declare: “I have faith and confidence in God, my future is secure, I am secure…God is with me.” Continue to repeat at least three times as you breathe deeply.
- Memorize 3 scriptures that landed in your heart from today’s study. Proclaim them out loud and declare the power of God’s word in and over your life and the lives of those you love. After you have stored them in your heart, re-read the list of scriptures and pray for 3 more that the Holy Spirit can use to anchor your sense of safety in God in the midst of insecurity in the world around you.
- Prayerfully invite the Lord to reveal to you your give back project today. Often times in the midst of trauma and tragedy taking positive forward action steps to outshine the darkness can anchor a sense of safety. Gathering several people together to initiate a give back project can also lead to a sense of safety and connection which helps you remember you are not alone. Just as Jesus sent out His disciples together to spread the gospel and do good in His name, so He sends us out to be the light of His presence in the darkness.
- Practice cognitive reframing. Step back from your fears as you shift your perceptions around the source of your safety and protection. Remember what you know to be true as a follower of Christ: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
- Explore the Emotional Freedom Technique to help release any persistent biological expressions of fear, anxiety and stress. CLICK HERE for a quick 10-minute demonstration. You can declare the Holy Scriptures while you tap on these points to calm your body’s response to your thought life. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:1
Dear God, I know that you call me out of darkness into light. May each word and behavior this week shine forth the light of your presence in the midst of darkness. I want to be your ambassador in word, thought, deed and action so that when you call me home, my colors will be clear as I declare you as my peace and confidence. I am your child and with you I lack nothing. Help me to think about you 24-7 and close the gap between my ability to hear and respond to your voice behind me saying, “this is the way walk in it.” I declare victory over fear and doubt, anxiety and worry as I allow the light of your love and presence to outshine the darkness that surrounds me. Use me to play a part in anchoring security through a message of hope, confidence and love in the lives of those you have entrusted to my care.
Surround yourself with people who make you a better person in life
Lauren & Estella
Dear Lord, you are the LIGHT of the world, I give you permission to override my below the line tendencies that project “lights off” rather than “lights ON” to the world around me. I know that I can’t give out what I haven’t mastered within my interior world. Open the eyes of my heart Lord to tune into those phrases and verses that pop out to me reminding me of an opportunity to identify and adjust my perceptions and behavior to more fully embrace and live out your will in my life. This invitation to detox my life from negativity is not for the faint hearted. Strengthen my weak knees so that I can unzip my old self and zip up my new self being renewed in the Holy Spirit with the gift of each new dawn. I want to be a city set on a hill and a light that outshines the darkness for you.
Edge God In Podcast Week 18: A Negativity Detox: Step 2
In the previous podcast: Negativity Detox Step 1, we explored high noticing around those negative thoughts and intonations we use with ourselves that dim our light for Christ. We now move into the experience of putting off those behaviors that fuel darkness in and around us as we step into shifting our attention on anchoring those actions that assist us in living a life worthy of the calling we have received.
As we touched upon in the first step of detoxing negativity from our lives mirror neurons reveal an essential element to the point of entry of negativity: our thought life… which ignite our emotional state of being. An emotion is simply your body’s response to your thought life. Mirror neurons will fire, triggering a similar emotional response in the receiver as put forth by the sender.
So, what does this look like when it comes to outshining the darkness? If you want to experience more kindness in your life, be kind. More love? Be loving. More compassion? Be compassionate towards others. This is such a powerful blueprint in behavioral neuroscience that reveals the handiwork of God. Studies have exposed the power of a person’s choice to remain in a place of love and kindness in the midst of outer negativity that is demonstrated by another person. The brainwaves in the sender are actually shift from the two-inch energy of the mind into the unlimited energy that radiates from the heart (The Heartmath Institute). Simply put, we have the ability to shift the brainwaves in another human being for a greater good simply by our choice for love and kindness.
Ephesians chapter 4 and 5 are jammed pack with behaviors that restrict our ability to shine, in fact that fuel darkness in and around us:
- Going to bed angry
- Stealing, even another’s reputation and sense of worth and value through slander, gossiping and bullying
- Foul, polluting language that cuts others down rather than edifying and encouraging using generous assumptions
- Bitterness, indignation and wrath
- Sexual Vices: Lust
- Greed: selfish desire for something: wealth, food, power,
- Wasting time
- Resentment: bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly
- Slander (evil-speaking, abusive language that hurts another person).
- Malice (spite, one-uping, revenge)
- Bitterness: anger at being treated unfairly
- Coveting: a deep yearning to possess or have something.
- Do not be vague (Deuteronomy 30:19 I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life that you may live, that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to Him).
The following practices and behavior fuel your ability to SHINE, in fact OUTSHINE the darkness and live a life worthy of the calling you have received in Christ:
- Humility (complete lowliness, void of hubris: excessive self-confidence/pride).
- Meekness: quiet and gentle, not asserting one’s own way over another’s.
- Unselfishness: putting the needs of others above your own.
- Gentleness: kind and tender
- Keep the harmony of oneness
- Seeing the best in others (generous assumptions).
- Express truth
- Enfolded in love: loyal and benevolent (disposed to doing good).
- Put off the old self and take on the new
- Grow in Christ
- Forgive: cancel a debt, release angry feelings towards someone for an offense.
- Tenderhearted, loving, kind, gentle
- Renewed in the spirit of your mind
- Release all false talk (gossip, slander).
- Understand what the Lord’s will is
- Filled with the Holy Spirit
- Make an honest living with your hands
- Reject falsehood: the state of being untrue
Reflect: Read Ephesians 4 & 5:
- Thoughtfully read through the first list that highlights the “old self” or nature. Ask the Holy Spirit to sift your mind and help you tune into those behaviors that you most closely relate to in your life. Perhaps they are behaviors you have set aside on your spiritual journey with the Lord. Perhaps they are behaviors that still creep into your life when you are in the HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired…or sick). As you shine the light of your awareness on your “shadow behavior” invite the Holy Spirit to lighten your grip and assist you in the release process. Picture specific times when those behaviors take the main stage in your life. Create a container of psychological safety as you lean into the Lord’s loving grace and healing, nothing thrives in a state of accusation and judgment.
- Next turn your attention to the second list, those behaviors that flow from your “new nature”, created in God’s image in true righteousness and holiness. Which behaviors come easily for you? What behaviors do you desire to see more of in your life? What holds you back from show casing those desired behaviors? Highlight or circle those behaviors.
Identify & Integrate:
- After reflecting on the list of your old nature behaviors, “BC”, before Christ entered into your character and began transforming and pruning for growth, identify and write down the last time you remember a behavior that revealed your “old nature.”
- Next pause, identify and write down the last time you revealed your “new nature”? Identify how you felt in each situation. Identify your feelings of peace, love and confidence when you are Outshining the darkness as your behavior reflects your “new self” in Christ. Galatians 2:20.
- Materials: 1 large index card. On one side of the card write down your top 3 new nature behaviors that come easily for you and 3 new nature behaviors you would like to see more of in your life.
- On the back side of the index card write down 3 behaviors from your old nature that you want to release, unzip and step out of in your life. For each behavior pause and ask yourself: What triggers this behavior in my life? What do I need to remember in that moment to help me lean into Jesus’ love for me? Hear and lean into Jesus compassionate declaration over the life of the woman caught in adultery: “Women, is there anyone here to condemn you? Go and leave your life of sin.” Jesus is all about beginning again and again and again.
- Ask questions to help unveil any hidden agendas around unwanted behavior: what is the upside of holding onto this behavior? What do I get out of it? Is it power over others? The need to be right? Liked? Understood in order to feel that you have worth and value? Peel back the onion to reveal the main fuel behind unwanted behavior. Invite the Holy Spirit into the shadow and ask for the grace to forgive and release.
- Watch out for the serpent of guilt and shame. Satan’s trickery comes in the form of self-accusation that leads to paralysis and more darkness: Did God really say that? Did he really forgive you? Declare boldly as Jesus did: “Get thee behind me satan, I choose to hold fast to my identity in Christ…by his stripes I am healed!”-Isaiah 53:5
- As you master the old nature behaviors, continue to reflect on the list and add new ones as those shadow behaviors reveal themselves to you. Whatever you drag out into the light of your awareness and the light of Christ’s loving redemption loses its grip on you.
Dear God, more of you less of me. I declare the new nature behaviors as my set point in life. I choose, by your loving grace, to put off my old self and completely immerse myself in you, where darkness is consumed by the light. I am your ambassador Lord, make your appeal through me. May my choice to detox negative behavior from my life result in revival wherever you call me to go. I want to outshine the darkness!
~Lauren & Estella
Edge God In Podcast Week 17: A Negativity Detox: Step 1
The focus for this study is a very timely topic and as we find ourselves surrounded by negativity. Let’s face it, you can’t give out to the world what you don’t take time to master within. With that said, it makes perfect sense that the first step in a negativity detox requires high noticing around the negative elements you are allowing into your interior castle, those tenants that you are giving free rent to who are trashing your interior world, AND a willingness by the assistance of the HELPER, the Holy Spirit to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 is a worthy verse of memorization: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
The discovery of mirror neurons, in my opinion, is one of those biological wake up calls that reveals an essential element to the point of entry of negativity: our thought life… which ignites our emotional state of being. An emotion is simply your body’s response to your thought life. Mirror neurons fire in the sender of information and the receiver. Basically, anger evokes anger, love evokes love. Whatever you are experiencing emotionally triggers similar emotions in people around you. God biologically wired us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. What was meant for good can easily be flipped to evil when we allow the emotions of envy, strife, bitterness, and judgment live under the roof of our minds.
Once you invite the Holy Spirit within your interior castle to help you master this space and detox your mind by evicting those tenants who thrive on negativity: drama judgment/accusation/shame, conflict, confusion, overwhelm, fear, doubt, worry you begin to reclaim the inner freedom of positivity Christ died to give you and you are then in a position to be able to step into being the light of the world, a city set on a hill to give light to all who see it.
As Romans 12:1 reveals to us the way in which we transform out of negativity into the positive, confident space of the One who has equipped us with a spirit of power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7, self-control over negative rumination) is to meditate upon that which is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).
Reflect: Read Matthew 5:14-16
- How much time do I spend meditating on what is beautiful in the eyes of the Lord?
- What is your “basket” that dims your light? What specific negative thoughts keep you from putting your light on a lampstand for all to see? What will it take to remove your basket?
- What specific shiny objects draw me away from my calling to be a light in this world, a city set on a hill?
- What negative thoughts do I want to detox from my life so that my light can shine before men in such a way that others see my good works and glorify God?
Identify & Integrate:
Be aware: those little serpents do not evacuate without a fight. Messages will pop up out of nowhere sabotaging your best efforts to evict and detox your head trash. Messages like: “WHAT? You might miss out on something if you don’t stay in the know of the drama! The judgment of others keeps you safe in your belief system. Conflict keeps you in the game. Who would you be if you didn’t worry? Worry gives you a sense of control over the unknown. When you worry or fear at least you are alert and not caught off guard if something bad happens, you are standing guard and ready to fight.” You may want to step into the calm of Philippians 4:6 and live a life without anxiety but if your mind is filled with anxiety producing statements you will end up mucking around in negativity. As Jesus pointed out a house divided against itself will fall (Luke 11:17).
Pause for a moment and recall a negative thought that has won your approval over time.
For example, this is a popular one that shows up a lot in coaching sessions: “If I hold back my best then at least I can fall back on the fact that I didn’t give it my all.” OOOOOO that’s a good one. This creepy little reptile can hold you back from stepping into the freedom of Christ (Galatians 5:1) and living a life of confidence knowing that the One who calls you is faithful and He will do it (1 Thessalonians 5:24). Its foundation is built on the shifting sand of a popular childhood wound: “My best is not enough” so as an adult you may conclude: “so why even try.” Jesus calls us up and out of our wounds that feed negativity in our lives. Integrate the verses into your thinking so that when you need to erase and replace a negative thought with three positive thoughts as mentioned later in this study you will have them available to the Holy Spirit:
- “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm then and do not allow yourself to be burdened by the yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
- “The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24
- This week step into Meta-Cognition: Think about what you think about. What percentage of your thought life at the end of the day was devoted to positive thoughts: what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy? Narrow your negative thoughts: One less today than yesterday.
- Practice 3-1. In order to override a negative thought pattern in our life, we need the assistance of the Holy Spirit. Science reveals that for every one negative thought it is essential to declare three positive thoughts to override the negative thought. Once you catch a negative thought by its tail and fling it out of your mind quickly declare three positive statements. For example, perhaps you just gave a presentation and your interior tenants of shame and not-enoughness start screaming at you: that’s all you’ve got? WHAT was that? Did you see your colleague yawning in the back of the room? BORRRING. You are not cut out for top management. As quickly as possible begin to declare God’s word over that situation: I believe in the Word of God which declares that whatever I commit to the Lord will succeed and He is able to cause all things to work together for an ultimate good in my life. I trust you, Jesus, to bless my efforts.
- Memorize two verses from today’s study that you want to use to help detox negative thoughts from your mind:
“Whoever cleanses himself from what is ignoble and unclean, whoever separates himself from contact with contaminating and corrupting influences will be a vessel set apart and useful for honorable and noble purposes, consecrated and profitable to the Master, fit and ready for any good work.” 2 Timothy 2:21
Dear God, help me to root out internal strife in my life. Make me a light of positivity in this world. I give you permission to detox my thought life. Cast out those thoughts that fuel stupid and foolish arguments and quarrels against myself and others. How can I offer kindness in this world if I am beating myself up in my head? Help me speak kind and supportive words to myself with a gentle and loving intonation. I know I cannot give out what I don’t take time to expand within my soul. In makes sense to me that the most powerful place to begin a negativity detox in my life starts with my own internal dialogue. Help me to use an intonation with myself that reflects the kindness and love of the Holy Spirit. May I be quick to linger in those positive affirming statements that are fueled by your presence and whispers in my life. I want to feel what it feels like to live out Romans 12:1 to be completely transformed by the renewing of my mind. Deeply refreshed and focused on what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy. Detox my thought life from all negativity.
Surround yourself with people who make you a better person in life
My ability to respond in a conscious Godly manner in the face of negative emotions is in direct proportion to my awareness around the truth that I am not another person’s emotional expressions. As I anchor my identity and beliefs in God, I am able to offer responses that validate, empathize and encourage the sender of the emotions. When I forget that I am safe and connected the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords I am vulnerable to defensive behavior which pushes people away and blocks healthy solutions. “1-Uping”, “You Should” and “At least” language will prevent a healthy flow of meaning between me and the sender of the emotions. Dear God, who will save me from my insecurities and self-doubt and fear? Thanks, be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord, I can give space for the Holy Spirit to anchor me in Christ’s confident, consistent loving kindness which will overflow into my emotional intelligence within relationships I encounter on my earth school journey.
Edge God In Podcast Week 16: Leadership: Relationship Management EQ
Self-Awareness => Self-Management
Social Awareness => Relationship Management
The focus of this study is on the 4th essential component of emotional intelligence which is relationship management. The 3rd step was geared towards your awareness around the emotions of other people and the 4th step is focused on your ability to handle in a health conscious way the emotions of other people. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people as well as process the emotions of other people from a conscious “lights-on” response space versus a reactive, defensive, “light-off” below the line manner.
How well do you manage the emotions of other people? Do you shut down in the face of strong emotions? Do you find yourself triggered and reacting with similar strong emotions when face to face with anger? Fear? Blame? Judgment?
Relationship Management: Managing the Emotions of Others:
Managing the emotions of others takes us understanding who we are. God, our Father is said to have two qualities; he is spirit and he is the soul. In John 4:24, he tells us that “God is spirit”. In Hebrew and Greek, the words for Spirit are commonly connected to terms of reflection, intellect, and intention. Being that we are made in the image of God, it is important that we know how to manage the emotions of others in a way that God would have us do, demonstrated to us numerous times in the scripture.
Gal 5:16 taught us that we as Christians, we should walk in the spirit and not by the flesh. It says, “But I say, live by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.
Setting our perspective for this is important, because not setting it leads to unmanaged emotions like gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors.
Romans 8:5 says, “For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. 6 For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do”.
We must also understand that managing the emotions of our spirit and others develops the fruits of the spirit.
Gal 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentlenesses, and self-control”.
And lastly, we need to know how to relate to God and to people which God shows us in Phil 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.
High Noticing Emotions: So how do set our perspective? our ego? Or managing the emotions of our spirit and others? And how do we relate to God and to people? How well am I imagine the emotions of others? Do you mirror the negative emotions of others?
Identify & Integrate:
Here are Godly steps you can take to managing your emotions and those of others.
- Put off the qualities that negatively affect relationships and recognize what’s going on in the life of yourself and others. Doing this frees the pain that keeps us from seeing the life and suffering of others.
- Put to death the inward negative moods and appetites that destroy inner peace and joy. This will trigger you to stop any action or thought that negatively affects the building and maintenance of relationships.
- Reckoning to Gods picture of reality by using heavenly perspectives and pursuing heavenly relationships. This will create the foundation to build and grow relationships as he would have us do.
We have to work to set our minds on the types of relationships we will have above (in heaven) and realize that we control our thinking. When we do this, it allows us to be other-centered individuals that can start positive relationships, the kind God sees for us.
Dear God, grant me the grace of temperance. Help me to listen to understand verses listening to be understood. When people react to me with unkind words and judgments grant me the strength to pause and listen for your voice…perhaps you will say, “leave it…do not pick up that hot coal of unkind behavior, if you do, it will burn you and then the wound will be yours to heal…borrow my love and kindness and release.”
~ Estella Lauren
What? It’s not all about me? Grant me the grace of Philippians 2:3 so that I have the patience and depth of surrender of my identity into you needed to truly consider the needs of others better than my own. Jesus, you said that if I desire to find my life I must lose it, perhaps the first step in losing my life is raising my awareness to the emotions and needs of those around me…to seek ways that I can support and assist others into personal excellence rather than seeking out ways that others can help and support me. Once again, I cry out John the Baptist’s prayer: more of You God…less of me.
Edge God In Podcast Week 15: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ
Self-Awareness => Self-Management
Social Awareness => Relationship Management
Focus for the study is on the 3rd essential component of emotional intelligence is social awareness. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people around us which is a key element in this 3rd step of EQ (Emotional Intelligence). How aware are you of the emotions of others? Do you listen to be understood or to understand? What does God say?
Social Awareness: 2 Timothy 2:16: “Avoid profane idle talk for such people will become more and more godless. Their teaching will spread like gangrene.”
Be aware of the energy/behavior of others that surround you.
2 Timothy 3:2: “People will be self-centered and lovers of money, proud, haughty, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, irreligious, callous, implacable, slanderous, licentious, brutal, hating what is good. Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. They make a pretense of religion yet deny it’s power.”
2 Timothy 4:3: “Be aware for a time is coming when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths (in amnesia of God’s presence)…But you be self-possessed (not possessed by the ways of the crowd; shiny objects; fame game) in ALL circumstances, put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry.”
What is your ministry in this world? How does the distraction of the world bump you off course? What is your vice that negatively affects your social awareness? Is it cravings for position; possessions or popularity?
5 ways to Lead with Spiritual Intelligence with Emotional Awareness:
- Care about people – be aware just as God was.
Exodus 3:7:The LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their sufferings.
2. Embrace differences to make a big difference – don’t view differences as a melting pot but rather as a mosaic of opportunities
Romans 14:13. Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.
3. Help individuals experience significance – Significance is the force that changes people lives and perspectives on what matters most
Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
4. Be accountable: No one is perfect. Show vulnerability.
James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
- Be mindful of other people’s needs: A team is more powerful than the sum of its parts – but each part must be continually refurbished and renewed in order for the team to sustain its power. Read Colossians 3:12-14 (the Children’s version is simple and powerful): “God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: Show mercy to others, be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Do not be angry with others, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”
Identify & Integrate:
Emotions will rule your life and you will rise and fall depending upon how the world judges you until you become bigger than the emotion at hand. What does this look like?
- Identify and write down 3 emotions that trigger within you a similar emotion when expressed by another person. For example: when someone expresses frustration towards you, you immediately feel frustrated. Emotional Intelligence around the emotions of other people will move you to respond with questions: What specifically did I do or say that is frustrating you? How specifically could I have expressed what I said with more clarity?
- Jesus was masterful at asking questions in the midst of emotional outbursts of people around Him. As you explore the emotional responses of other people that trigger a similar emotion within you, you are then in a position to identify it and adjust your behavior to honor the person you are committed to being in Christ. Science shows that when a human being maintains an inner connection to positive emotions (love, kindness, patience, compassion, curiosity) this positive emotion actually shifts the brain waves in the other person who is expressing a negative emotion (selfishness, judgement, envy).
- As you explore the emotions of others, increase your awareness around what emotions evoke similar emotions within your body. Remember, an emotion is your body’s response to your thought life. For the next week, practice high noticing around other people’s emotions. Releasing all judgment, be the observer verses the reactor. Step off the stage of drama and reflect on how people interact with you and others.
- At the end of the day journal your observations along with any emotions you experienced as a result of other people’s emotional reactions to life. What works for you and what does not work for you when it comes to your choice to be the observer vs the reactor?
Dear God, grant me the grace of generous assumptions. Help me to see other’s as you see me: as I desire to be rather than how I respond emotionally in ways that does not honor the person you know I want to be in you. Love evokes more love. I love because you first loved me. Help me to be love and kindness where there is no love and kindness, knowing that love and kindness win out in the end and every act on my part to participate in a random act of kindness will go viral in the heavenly realms. Have your way with me in spite of myself. More of you and less of me.
Surround yourself with people who make you a better person in life
5 ways to Activate Aging Grace:
- Old is new – Romans 8:28-29, 35-39
This is a beginning of a new adventure
- Let God be mold you – Genesis 37:3-4
Allow people and experiences to shape you
- Know that you are called by God – Exodus 4:1-17
Create a mission statement for the latter third of life.
- It’s okay to be vulnerable – Ruth 1:1-17
Aging brings with it many changes that require emotional and mental adaptation—but our loving God is in control.
2. You are getting nearer to God – Psalm 4
Losing our grip to human attachments – moving us into a greater relationship with him that should not be limited because of our age.
Identify & Integrate:
- Seek wisdom and Knowledge – Read Gods Word on Aging and develop a ritual embedding it into your heart.
- Pray for Gods understanding of beauty and youth and remove vanity, doubt, or fear.
- Change your perspective on things and approach aging as an adventure.
- Honor those around you who are aging.
- Be mindful of self and others
- Revisit Gods word and listen to his direction for you
Dear God, grant me the grace to know that no matter what I look like, I was created beautifully by you. Help me to see continue to see myself in your image and those I observe losing what we believe to be beauty during the aging process. Help me spread love and kindness, support and help to the aging mentally spiritually and physically. As I help myself, let the light you gave me shine for others.
Are You Shrinking Your Brain?
How much of your verbal communication in a 24 hour
period of time contains an element of complaining?
10%? 25% 50% 75% 90%?
Take a moment to go into your internal castle, close your eyes and
give this self inventory question a moment to marinate. For any positive
shift to occur it is essential to shine the light of
our awareness on the state of behavior we wish to prune
out of our life.
Next question: Are you a conscious communicator? Someone
who pauses before responding and edits and adjusts words
to align with the person you are committed to being.
Have you fallen asleep at the gate of your most powerful
modality to create a positive or negative space around you
on this journey of life: Your Tongue.
Science proves that your brain actually shrinks in the midst of
complaining, either from your own mouth or people around you.
Victory over undesirable circumstances lies in your ability
to occupy the space you feel honors the person you are committed
to being. Do you edify yourself and those around you or do
you cut down yourself and those around you? The choice is
yours and makes all the difference in the outcomes you experience.
This week I invite you to take a complaining fast, I’m going to join
you in this practice. As you feel a negative conclusion or statement
bubbling up into your mouth, put your hand over your mouth
and step away from the situation if necessary to catch yourself.
As quickly as possible flip the negative thought into a positive one.
For example: “I am so exhausted and fed up with my work load.”
Flip It: “I love how much effort I put behind what I do in life, my
body is telling me it’s time to take a break and restore so I can
continue to show up the way I want to show up, and I am going to honor that.”
“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example, although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course one’s life on fire…” James 3:3-6
Nolite Timere: Fear Not!
Because of His Love,