Category Archives: Leadership

Podcast 16:Leadership: Relationship Management EQ

My ability to respond in a conscious Godly manner in the face of negative emotions is in direct proportion to my awareness around the truth that I am not another person’s emotional expressions. As I anchor my identity and beliefs in God, I am able to offer responses that validate, empathize and encourage the sender of the emotions. When I forget that I am safe and connected the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords I am vulnerable to defensive behavior which pushes people away and blocks healthy solutions. “1-Uping”, “You Should” and “At least” language will prevent a healthy flow of meaning between me and the sender of the emotions. Dear God, who will save me from my insecurities and self-doubt and fear? Thanks, be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord, I can give space for the Holy Spirit to anchor me in Christ’s confident, consistent loving kindness which will overflow into my emotional intelligence within relationships I encounter on my earth school journey.

Edge God In Podcast Week 16: Leadership: Relationship Management EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

The focus of this study is on the 4th essential component of emotional intelligence which is relationship management. The 3rd step was geared towards your awareness around the emotions of other people and the 4th step is focused on your ability to handle in a health conscious way the emotions of other people. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people as well as process the emotions of other people from a conscious “lights-on” response space versus a reactive, defensive, “light-off” below the line manner.

How well do you manage the emotions of other people? Do you shut down in the face of strong emotions? Do you find yourself triggered and reacting with similar strong emotions when face to face with anger? Fear? Blame? Judgment?

Learn:

Relationship Management: Managing the Emotions of Others:

Managing the emotions of others takes us understanding who we are. God, our Father is said to have two qualities; he is spirit and he is the soul.  In John 4:24, he tells us that “God is spirit”.  In Hebrew and Greek, the words for Spirit are commonly connected to terms of reflection, intellect, and intention. Being that we are made in the image of God, it is important that we know how to manage the emotions of others in a way that God would have us do, demonstrated to us numerous times in the scripture.

Gal 5:16 taught us that we as Christians, we should walk in the spirit and not by the flesh. It says, “But I say, live by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desires of the flesh.

Setting our perspective for this is important, because not setting it leads to unmanaged emotions like gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors.

Romans 8:5 says, “For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. 6 For the outlook of the flesh is death, but the outlook of the Spirit is life and peace, 7 because the outlook of the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to the law of God, nor is it able to do”.
We must also understand that managing the emotions of our spirit and others develops the fruits of the spirit.

Gal 5:22 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentlenesses, and self-control”.

And lastly, we need to know how to relate to God and to people which God shows us in Phil 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.

Reflect:

High Noticing Emotions: So how do set our perspective? our ego? Or managing the emotions of our spirit and others?  And how do we relate to God and to people? How well am I imagine the emotions of others? Do you mirror the negative emotions of others?

Identify & Integrate:

Here are Godly steps you can take to managing your emotions and those of others.

  1. Put off the qualities that negatively affect relationships and recognize what’s going on in the life of yourself and others. Doing this frees the pain that keeps us from seeing the life and suffering of others.
  2. Put to death the inward negative moods and appetites that destroy inner peace and joy. This will trigger you to stop any action or thought that negatively affects the building and maintenance of relationships.
  3. Reckoning to Gods picture of reality by using heavenly perspectives and pursuing heavenly relationships. This will create the foundation to build and grow relationships as he would have us do.

Maintain:

We have to work to set our minds on the types of relationships we will have above (in heaven) and realize that we control our thinking. When we do this, it allows us to be other-centered individuals that can start positive relationships, the kind God sees for us.

 Dear God, grant me the grace of temperance. Help me to listen to understand verses listening to be understood. When people react to me with unkind words and judgments grant me the strength to pause and listen for your voice…perhaps you will say, “leave it…do not pick up that hot coal of unkind behavior, if you do, it will burn you and then the wound will be yours to heal…borrow my love and kindness and release.”

~ Estella Lauren

Episode 15: Step 3 Emotional Intelligence: Social Awareness

What? It’s not all about me? Grant me the grace of Philippians 2:3 so that I have the patience and depth of surrender of my identity into you needed to truly consider the needs of others better than my own. Jesus, you said that if I desire to find my life I must lose it, perhaps the first step in losing my life is raising my awareness to the emotions and needs of those around me…to seek ways that I can support and assist others into personal excellence rather than seeking out ways that others can help and support me. Once again, I cry out John the Baptist’s prayer: more of You God…less of me.

 

Edge God In Podcast Week 15: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

 

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

 

Focus for the study is on the 3rd essential component of emotional intelligence is social awareness. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people around us which is a key element in this 3rd step of EQ (Emotional Intelligence). How aware are you of the emotions of others? Do you listen to be understood or to understand? What does God say?

Learn:

Social Awareness: 2 Timothy 2:16: “Avoid profane idle talk for such people will become more and more godless. Their teaching will spread like gangrene.”

Be aware of the energy/behavior of others that surround you.

2 Timothy 3:2: “People will be self-centered and lovers of money, proud, haughty, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, irreligious, callous, implacable, slanderous, licentious, brutal, hating what is good. Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. They make a pretense of religion yet deny it’s power.”

 

2 Timothy 4:3: “Be aware for a time is coming when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths (in amnesia of God’s presence)…But you be self-possessed (not possessed by the ways of the crowd; shiny objects; fame game) in ALL circumstances, put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry.”

What is your ministry in this world? How does the distraction of the world bump you off course? What is your vice that negatively affects your social awareness? Is it cravings for position; possessions or popularity?

Reflect:

5 ways to Lead with Spiritual Intelligence with Emotional Awareness:

 

  1. Care about people – be aware just as God was.

Exodus 3:7:The LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of My people who       are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their sufferings.

2. Embrace differences to make a big difference – don’t view differences as a melting pot but rather as a mosaic of opportunities

Romans 14:13. Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.

3. Help individuals experience significance – Significance is the force that changes people lives and perspectives on what matters most

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

4. Be accountable: No one is perfect. Show vulnerability.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

  1. Be mindful of other people’s needs: A team is more powerful than the sum of its parts – but each part must be continually refurbished and renewed in order for the team to sustain its power. Read Colossians 3:12-14 (the Children’s version is simple and powerful): “God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: Show mercy to others, be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Do not be angry with others, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”

Identify & Integrate:

Emotions will rule your life and you will rise and fall depending upon how the world judges you until you become bigger than the emotion at hand. What does this look like?

 

  • Identify and write down 3 emotions that trigger within you a similar emotion when expressed by another person. For example: when someone expresses frustration towards you, you immediately feel frustrated. Emotional Intelligence around the emotions of other people will move you to respond with questions: What specifically did I do or say that is frustrating you? How specifically could I have expressed what I said with more clarity?
  • Jesus was masterful at asking questions in the midst of emotional outbursts of people around Him. As you explore the emotional responses of other people that trigger a similar emotion within you, you are then in a position to identify it and adjust your behavior to honor the person you are committed to being in Christ. Science shows that when a human being maintains an inner connection to positive emotions (love, kindness, patience, compassion, curiosity) this positive emotion actually shifts the brain waves in the other person who is expressing a negative emotion (selfishness, judgement, envy).

Maintain:

  • As you explore the emotions of others, increase your awareness around what emotions evoke similar emotions within your body. Remember, an emotion is your body’s response to your thought life. For the next week, practice high noticing around other people’s emotions. Releasing all judgment, be the observer verses the reactor. Step off the stage of drama and reflect on how people interact with you and others.
  • At the end of the day journal your observations along with any emotions you experienced as a result of other people’s emotional reactions to life. What works for you and what does not work for you when it comes to your choice to be the observer vs the reactor?

Dear God, grant me the grace of generous assumptions. Help me to see other’s as you see me: as I desire to be rather than how I respond emotionally in ways that does not honor the person you know I want to be in you. Love evokes more love. I love because you first loved me. Help me to be love and kindness where there is no love and kindness, knowing that love and kindness win out in the end and every act on my part to participate in a random act of kindness will go viral in the heavenly realms. Have your way with me in spite of myself. More of you and less of me.

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Emotional Intelligence in God: Step 1

Listen to the above Edge God In Bible Study on Emotional Intelligence Step 1

Bible Study:

Holy Spirit, grant me wisdom. Show me who you have created me to be to in this world. Help me to see myself as God sees me rather than how I judge myself. I give you permission to remove everything within me that is not of God, that does not glorify Him or make Him recognizable in my life: my judgments…towards self and others…my conclusions about life that are based in story verses reality, including assuming and mind reading. I am nothing without you Lord, and with you I am everything and feel complete, significant and valued. Refresh me Lord so that I remain in you. Have your way with me in spite of myself.

 

Edge God In Podcast Week 13: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

 

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

 

Focus for the study is on the first essential component of emotional intelligence: self-awareness. We cannot give out effectively what we have not given attention to within ourselves. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. What does God say?

 

Learn:

3 Questions to reflect upon when considering self-awareness:

 

  • Who Am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • What will it matter?

 

Who Am I? Scripture:

 

  • John 1:12: “To those who believe in His name are given the right to become the children of God.
  • Romans 8:15-16: I have received a Spirit of sonship…Abba Father, this spirit testifies that I am a child of the living God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: I am part of a royal priesthood, a Holy Nation, a people belonging to God.

 

Why am I here? Scripture:

 

  • 2 Corinthians 5:20-21: To make God recognizable in this world. I am Christ’s ambassador as if God were making His appeal through me. For our sake He made Him to be sin who did not sin that I might become the righteousness (the excellence) of God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: As a part of God’s child and a Holy Nation I am here to declare the praises of Him who called me our of darkness into light.
  • Galatians 2:20: I have been put to death with Christ on the cross so it’s no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me this life I live by faith alone in Him who died for me. I am here to live by faith and allow Jesus to live within and through me.

 

What will it matter? …When I prayed on this one I got: “why will it matter? It will matter in all of eternity for the sake of salvation of souls, your choice to live for me will end in life.”

Reflect:

Who are you? What are your strongest drivers in life? Those things that move you to engage?

Why do you think you are gifted with another day of life?

As you reflect upon who you are in Christ and why you are here on earth, take your curiosity a little further and explore the amount of time you spend worrying about what other people think along with other achievements. What emotions hold you back from your identity in Christ?  Self-awareness is the first step in emotional intelligence. What knocks your lights out during the day? The opinions of other people? Not completing your “to-do” list? Do you focus more on identifying yourself with your struggle instead of declaring your victory over it in Christ? John 15: Remain, remain, remain in Christ so much so that your perception of YOU flows directly from Christ’s perception of you.

Identify:

Identify and write down those aspects of your reactive behavior to life that do not make God recognizable in this world. Commit to adjusting your perceptions around you to include your most valuable possession: your own will to choose your identity in Christ and your ability to identify and adjust those behaviors which do not align with the person you are committed to being in Christ. With Jesus you lack nothing and your awareness of self gets lost in His love and purpose for you.

Integrate:

Fold a piece of paper in half-length wise. In the 1st column write down your response to this question: I feel most loved when_________________________________. In the second column write down: I feel most accepted when___________________________.

This information will offer you the opportunity to integrate those activities that re-fuel your sense of identity as well as offer you the opportunity to release those methods of feeling loved and accepted which do not give glory to God or are based in selfish ambition or vein conceits. For example: I feel most accepted when people tell me that I have done an awesome job. Affirmations in and of themselves are beautiful and when they start to replace our identity in God we render ourselves vulnerable to rising and falling depending upon how the world judges us at that time. Self-awareness is the first step in emotional intelligence in that it is the gateway through which we become capable of allowing God to make Himself recognizable in or life or not. You can not give out to the world around you what you do not take time to nurture within your own interior world with God.

Maintain:

For three weeks take 3 minutes before you fall asleep to do an examination of consciousness. Pause and notice how aware you made God recognizable. Was your identity (your sense of worth, value and capability) in what you did or in who you are in Christ? This is a time of high noticing around how you show up in life. What worked for you in terms of your personal responses, assumptions and conclusions about your daily events? What didn’t work for you? Withhold judgment and simply observe and commit to expand those self-reflections that are working out for you and supporting your desire to making God recognizable in your life and relationships: Edge God In.

 

 

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Episode 13: Food for the Flock

Feed the Flock

Father God, I ask that you bless this bible study by opening up our hearts and minds to the learning you have for us today.  I ask you that you enrich our abilities to learn, digest, apply all that we learn in a way that creates change in our hearts and minds.  With your guidance, I ask that your word provides the knowledge needed to shepherd your flock toward the revelation of knowledge that you have for them.  I thank you in advance for enriching our lives with this time to learn and experience more of you.

Edge God in Podcast Week 12: Food for the Flock

What does it mean to feed to flock?

Feeding the flock is a commitment to the worship of God. It is an active process which requires one to directly and personally experience him. It also takes us being actively involved in the works of the church (church meaning the body of Christ).

What does God say about feeding the flock?

1 Peter 5:2 says, “shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness;

Jeremiah 3:15 says “Then I will give you shepherds after My own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.

Jeremiah 23:4 says, “I will also raise up shepherds over them and they will tend them, and they will not be afraid any longer, nor be terrified, nor will any be missing,” declares the LORD.

How to I shepherd the change in our hearts and minds?

  • In the world – We must be ready to receive the world no matter what state of readiness

Acts 17:10-11 says: received the work with all readiness, and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.

We look too much into what we are told and don’t research or study what is there. In order to receive and flock the world, we need to be ready.

  • By faith – we have to return to the faith of the disciples. There were countless examples of their faith that stood the test of time. God says in Romans 14:23, that for whatever in not form faith is sin. He says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 twe walk by faith, not by sight.

Faith takes a relationship with God. It must be a relationship of trust at the root of the foundation. Trusting is hard if you can‘t see it and that is where the faith comes in.

  • Through the Gospels: they tell us that there is a sense of urgency in the feeding of the flock. God says we no not the time or hour when the son of man comes back but we do know what are work here is to do and that requires us to urgently and diligently work to do this.

Conclusion:  Feeding the flock can involve all forms of works in the church. Healing, ministering, teaching, etc.  Neglecting the “feeding the flock” is in turn very badly damaging to preaching the gospel to the world. You can’t be a casual observer but must be personally involved.

Episode12: Five Power Themes

EdgeGodIn.com: Championing Human Potential in Christ

Edge God In Podcast Week 12: Philippians 4:2-9: 5 Power Themes:

Sweet Jesus you call me to take every thought captive and make it obedient to you, perhaps this is the 1 practice that will allow me to release stress and anxiety within my life. Give me the grace today to pray about everything that spins or bumps me out of your peace that passes all human understanding. The world screams for my attention as hundreds of shiny objects cross my path in a day. May gentleness flow through my intonation to myself and those around me.

Learn:

Problem: Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our worth, value and what we believe we are capable of handling successfully. Take it back today! How?

Scripture: “Holy Spirit open the eyes of my heart as I read through these Holy Scriptures. What’s for me today that will draw me out of myself and into deeper fellowship with my Savior as well as free me from the trappings of the world. Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

Read through the Holy Scriptures from Philippians 4:4-9 two times. The first time for insight the second time for specific themes that POP out to you that have specific application to your life situation. Write down those verses that stick.

Reflect:

Reflect on 5 main power themes contained in Philippians 4:4-9. Which theme comes easily for you? Which theme is challenging for you? What do you want to see more of in your daily life?

  • Rejoice in the Lord
  • Practice Gentleness
  • Release Anxiety
  • Pray on all occasions
  • Meditate (reflect, think deeply upon) the things of God: whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

Identify & Adjust:

When things are going our way in life it is easy to rejoice in the Lord, practice gentleness and feel at peace. When life doesn’t show up the way we expect it should it is then that the power of practicing the themes found in today’s scriptures step into play. Explore the following steps as you move away from anxiety back to inner peace:

  • Identify 1 specific area in your life that you see as a challenge or as uncomfortable or even irritating.
  • Next reflect on your reactions to this challenging situation: what do you look like, feel like and sound like in the midst of this challenge? Write down all of the emotions you are able to tune into that are associated with the challenge at hand.
  • Finally take each emotion and use the EFT tapping therapy method to link your challenge (stressful situation) with the relaxation response in your body as you include the scripture themes from today’s Edge God In Bible Study. For example I was upset by what a co-worker said about my presentation. I would apply EFT tapping therapy to calm my stress response in my body and re-connect to thinking about what is good, right, true and excellent. Set Up Statement as I tap on the outside of my hand: “Even though I am frustrated at what my co-worker said about my presentation, I am willing to deeply and completely love and accept myself and I choose to give God more authority within me than to this circumstance. I choose to release the anxiety and surrender my frustration to God. Jesus help me return to the peace that passes all human understanding and grant me the grace to think about the things of God: what is good, right, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy. Next tap on the sequence of points beginning at the eye brow point as you simply say a reminder phrase, typically I use my main emotion, in this case it would be frustration. (Watch EFT Demonstration and plug in your challenge to release the anxiety response in the body).

Integrate/Take Action:

Integrate your reflection into your daily life: Which theme comes easily for you? Which theme is challenging for you? What do you want to see more of in your daily life?

  • Write down your answers on an index card and carry it with you. Memorize the verses that coincide with the power theme you wish to see more of in your life. For example: Do not be anxious about anything but pray about everything. Phil. 4:6 I want to respond to situations this week that usually spin me out of inner peace by pausing and praying before responding. I want more intentional responses that allow for God’s presence and wisdom verses reactive emotional responses based on my own feelings of inadequacy and fear.
  • Learn and apply the EFT tapping method each time you feel a strong negative emotion flare up in your body. The more you pair the relaxation response with the stressful event the more you expand your ability to choose your responses to life rather than giving more power to circumstance to evoke reactive responses to life. Give God more authority within you than to circumstance outside of you.

Dear Lord, I want to be a more relaxed version of who I am in this world. Help me to rejoice in you in good and bad times. To be gentle and kind because of who I am not because of how other people respond or don’t respond; to resist the urge to give power to outside circumstance to define my worth and value, including my to-do list. I am enough because of who you are in and through me. Flood my mind with your good character so that I gravitate towards those things in life that give glory to you over me. Have your way with me in spite of myself so that your peace and confidence becomes mine.

 Support Materials:

EFT Tapping Points & Video Demonstration:

EFT Points PDF

Video: http://laurenemiller.com/discover/media-and-press/10-min-stress-solution-made-easy-eft/

 

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Self-Control: The Caboose of the Fruits

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Learn => Reflect => Identify & Adjust => Integrate => ACT

The fruits of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and gentleness are all ignited into action through the last fruit of the spirit: self-control. It is the Caboose of the fruits that keep the first 7 on track. Without self-control our ability to respond with love and forgiveness over hatred and judgment is blocked.

Scriptures: Learn:

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of POWER, Love & Self-Control.” 1 Timothy 1:7

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:1

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 4:6

Reflect/Identify & Adjust:

One of my favorite reminders of who I am in this world comes from the above verse in 1 Timothy 1:7.  Let’s dismantle this a little to give it more clarity of focus thus increasing our ability to put it into daily action.

First of all, know what you are and what you are not. This releases inner anxiety instantly:

You are a child of God, possessing the blue print of the creator of the universe flowing through your spirit that is beyond all momentary troubles and tribulations.  Your spirit knows itself to be enough, capable and victorious at all times even in the eye of the storm. Simply put, you are first and foremast a spiritual being having a physical experience, as proclaimed by the Christian mystics throughout history. 

You are not your circumstance; judgments from yourself and others; traumatic situations; rejection; fear; doubt or worry…unless you choose to believe you are in which case the spirit of fear will twist the reality of who you are as created in the image AND likeness of God.

For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of POWER, Love & Self-Control. You have a spirit that moves with self-control: the ability to choose a certain response to life that serves your well-being and the well being of all concerned.  We do not use the spirit of self-control enough in our daily life as we play victim to our circumstances: “If I don’t get this certain outcome I won’t be able to handle it”…”life is a struggle”…”I can’t do that”, “Nothing ever works out for me” “I don’t understand why they did that, said that, didn’t do that…why things work out for other people and not for me.”

In order to experience the POWER and the LOVE contained at the heart of our spirit which fuels our ability to create, self-control needs to be resurrected to the front lines of our responses to people, things and circumstances.

Integrate/ACT:

This week practice self-control…step back from your quick responses to life, often fueled by emotional flare-ups of unbridled ambition and seek the wisdom that flows from the Holy Spirit, known as the Counselor: “Give me the words to speak that are in my best interest and reflect the higher good I am created for, or the silence needed for even greater wisdom and guidance.” Remember, true greatness comes through the archway of temperance, humility and love. The gap, which allows wisdom to drop in between what happens around you and your response to it, grows bigger with each act of self-control.

Dear God, I give you permission to resurrect within me the spirit that is my birth right as your child on earth: A spirit of POWER, LOVE and SELF-CONTROL.  In order for me to experience the power of your love through my thoughts, words and responses to the life in front of my face I need the grace of faith in action manifested through self-control.  Help me to remember who I am this week, why I do what I do and the bigger picture in life. Expand my ability to control my thoughts of self defeat, judgment of self and others that render me incapable of accessing the strength and power of my spirit to overcome and powerfully witness to the successful creative nature that manifests a greater good on earth, which I am willing to consider I will focus on at the sunset of this life.  Help me to live my life backwards…doing, saying, creating those things that at my last breath, as I reflect on how I showed up each day, will cause me to hear the sweet words of ultimate success in life: “well done, my good and faithful servant, you remembered who you are, what you are capable of & why, with the gift of each new dawn your heart continued to beat.”

Questions for Growth:

What specific area of your life would you like to practice more self-control this week in order to bring Glory to God?

What could you do today that would help you think about what is good and admirable?

When is it easy to let the Holy Spirit guide your actions? When is it difficult?

Our Next Virtual Bible Study will be October 28th at 9:30 am EST/7:30 am MT/6:30 am PST 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

How to Release Irritation

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Irritation in this life will often flow from your need to be right, seen, acknowledged, recognized, respected and responded to in a specific way…can you imagine giving these antics up and knowing you have already made it in this life? God delights in you, no need for outside reinforcements. I would imagine we would have a lot of mind space freed up to create more love and beauty in this world…is not that the purpose for which we are graced with another heart beat?

Dear God, may I remember as I open my eyes to another gift of life today that you delight in me and see me for all that I desire to be in this world.  

Thank you for giving me the grace today to release my need for certain outcomes in order to feel secure, joyful and successful.  

Thank you that I have the ability to scale the perceived walls in my life along with the capability to create more beauty and love.

May I remember throughout the day that it is not so much WHAT I am doing but the LOVE that I put behind what I do that makes all of the difference in the outcomes I experience on earth.  Have your way with me in spite of myself.

You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I Can Scale a Wall.” Psalm 18: 28-29

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

How to Speak Like a Leader

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How to Speak Like a Leader Edge God In Virtual Bible Study Notes:

 

Lauren:

 

Out of all of the studies I have taken on managing the tongue one of the most powerful is from Joyce Meyers, The Power of Words series. As leaders in the world, we are held more responsible because of the people we are entrusted to care for and guide. Our mouths will either catapult people into the highest version of who they are created to be or shut them down, and we get to choose. The most essential fruit of the spirit we need to activate in the area of tongue control is that of self-control. Even if you have to excuse yourself from a situation because your tongue is about to sabotage your good efforts, do it. The brain is also at play when it comes to gaining control over your tongue and choosing to build up those around you. Reactive behavior is supported by brain chemistry. How does this look? When you respond the same way over and over, a new neuro-pathway is formed in the brain and produces a chemical that actually excites the brain, you can become addicted to reactive behavior unless you choose to jump in and stop it as soon as you recognize the negative reactive behavior. Neurons the fire together, rewire together. You are the gatekeeper of your will and choice of response.

 

Drag the truth out into the light on how to master you mouth:

 

  • James 3:8: (it’s hard to tame; full of restless evil and deadly poison).
  • Proverbs 18:21 (death & life are in it and those who love it will eat its fruits).
  • Matthew 12:36:37: (Jesus says we will give an account for every careless word we speak…by our words we are justified or condemned).
  • James 3:1-18: Prayerfully read through this one it’s packed full of take aways (if you teach (lead others) you are judged more strictly, more reason to master the mouth).

 

  1. Use your mouth to encourage (Merriam-Webster: to make someone more determined; hopeful, or confident); edify (Merriam-Webster: to teach someone in a way that improves the mind or character); build up (reminding a person that the strength of God within them is greater than circumstance, they have the ability to find a solution):

 

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
  • Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
  • Proverbs 15:4: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

 

  1. Bless Everything You Do and Practice Grateful Living: Pause before each email; conference call; team meeting; 1:1 review and bless it in the name of Jesus Christ. Pause between transitions and hit your needs with gratitude. Be thankful and declare it and the bless yourself (words; thoughts; deeds; actions) and pray it over those around you.

 

  • Psalm 100: A Psalm of thanksgiving. Be thankful and say so.
  • Numbers 6:23: “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
  • Bless your people God has entrusted to your care

 

  1. Be quick to hear and slow to speak: Listen to understand verses to be understood. Remain in a place of observation and pray in grace to see people for who they desire to be rather than how they show up. Get beyond yourself, die to EGO and Edge God In. Resist the urge to speak in doubt, fear and worry into any situation. When we are stressed we hold onto life and tend to micro-manage people and events, we manipulate. We become obsessive about the environment; time and the body. When you are in the place of the Holy Spirit: thinking about what is good; right; true; beautiful excellence and praise worthy you are in your frontal lobe, (40% of the entire brain), which actually calms down the thoughts associated with threat. As quickly as possible when you feel spun out of heart based leadership communication declare the word of God over your circumstance: “I give more authority to the strength of God within me than I do to this momentary disruption in my life and may my words reflect my choice to shift back into the edifying language of the Holy Spirit.”

 

  • 1 John 4:4: “You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

 

Estella:

 

Speaking like a leader involves that art of communication.

Communication is so important because that is were avoidance of miss-understandings happen allowing open communication.

God has given us guidelines on how and what we should speak.

 

  • Don’t worry about what you should speak as a leader

Psalm19.4 “Let the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. O lord my rock and my redeemer.”

2)   God has given his people wisdom – so you will communicate the right way with Gods grace.

Psalm 37:30 – the mouth of the righteous utters Wisdom, and his tongue

3)   Speak good and helpful things to people that will lift them up and improve them

Proverbs 12:25 (ESV) “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

Proverbs 25:11 (ESV) “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

 

  • God’s word gives us valuable insights into how we should speak and it Is important that we follow his guidance and leadership. 

Matthew 12:37 (ESV) “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts, so we should constantly be filling our hearts and minds with what is best.

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE VIRTUAL BIBLE STUDY:

HOW TO SPEAK LIKE A LEADER Part 1

4th Step in Emotional Intelligence for Leadership

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In this final week of the Emotional Intelligence studies , Lauren and Estella share the 4th Step in Emotional Intelligence for Authentic Leadership:

Lauren starts the study by sharing scriptures on relationship management and unmanaged emotions.  She then uses powerful examples of the leadership of Moses to demonstrate how we as Christians should lead and manage emotions. 

Relationship Management: Perceived emotions; use emotions; understand emotions; manage emotions

Unmanaged emotions can lead to gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors

Numbers 11:

What does God thinks of complaining? Overwhelm occurs when delegating is overlooked in the face of “I can do it all” mentality. Observe what God does for Moses (sends 70 people to share in his gifts and talents to support the job responsibilities). How well you manage your own emotions will spill over into how you manage the emotions of those around you in relationship.

“You too, be patient and strengthen your hearts, because the Lord’s coming is near. Do not complain about one another, brothers, so that you will not be judged.” James 5:8-9

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick tempered exalts folly (foolish, lack of good sense or understanding). A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:29-30

Estella furthers the conversation by sharing the importance we as Christians have in understanding how to manage and express these emotions and also how to connect our emotions positively with others. She shares three points and scriptures to help us achieve this.

Emotional intelligence has been defined as the ability to monitor and interpret one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions and use this information to guide one’s actions and behaviors.

It is important that we as Christian coaches understand how to manage and express emotions.  Additionally, connecting our emotions with others is important.

1)Relationships the involve learning from from others:

Proverbs 12:20

20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

2)Relationship that involve connection

Hebrews 10:24-25

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

3) Relationships involves peaceful resolutions

Ephesians 4:2-3

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Lauren & Estella