Out of all of the studies I have taken on managing the tongue one of the most powerful is from Joyce Meyers, The Power of Words series. As leaders in the world, we are held more responsible because of the people we are entrusted to care for and guide. Our mouths will either catapult people into the highest version of who they are created to be or shut them down, and we get to choose. The most essential fruit of the spirit we need to activate in the area of tongue control is that of self-control. Even if you have to excuse yourself from a situation because your tongue is about to sabotage your good efforts, do it. The brain is also at play when it comes to gaining control over your tongue and choosing to build up those around you. Reactive behavior is supported by brain chemistry. How does this look? When you respond the same way over and over, a new neuro-pathway is formed in the brain and produces a chemical that actually excites the brain, you can become addicted to reactive behavior unless you choose to jump in and stop it as soon as you recognize the negative reactive behavior. Neurons the fire together, rewire together. You are the gatekeeper of your will and choice of response.
Drag the truth out into the light on how to master you mouth:
- James 3:8: (it’s hard to tame; full of restless evil and deadly poison).
- Proverbs 18:21 (death & life are in it and those who love it will eat its fruits).
- Matthew 12:36:37: (Jesus says we will give an account for every careless word we speak…by our words we are justified or condemned).
- James 3:1-18: Prayerfully read through this one it’s packed full of take aways (if you teach (lead others) you are judged more strictly, more reason to master the mouth).
- Use your mouth to encourage (Merriam-Webster: to make someone more determined; hopeful, or confident); edify (Merriam-Webster: to teach someone in a way that improves the mind or character); build up (reminding a person that the strength of God within them is greater than circumstance, they have the ability to find a solution):
- 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
- Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
- Proverbs 15:4: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
- Bless Everything You Do and Practice Grateful Living: Pause before each email; conference call; team meeting; 1:1 review and bless it in the name of Jesus Christ. Pause between transitions and hit your needs with gratitude. Be thankful and declare it and the bless yourself (words; thoughts; deeds; actions) and pray it over those around you.
- Psalm 100: A Psalm of thanksgiving. Be thankful and say so.
- Numbers 6:23: “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
- Bless your people God has entrusted to your care
- Be quick to hear and slow to speak: Listen to understand verses to be understood. Remain in a place of observation and pray in grace to see people for who they desire to be rather than how they show up. Get beyond yourself, die to EGO and Edge God In. Resist the urge to speak in doubt, fear and worry into any situation. When we are stressed we hold onto life and tend to micro-manage people and events, we manipulate. We become obsessive about the environment; time and the body. When you are in the place of the Holy Spirit: thinking about what is good; right; true; beautiful excellence and praise worthy you are in your frontal lobe, (40% of the entire brain), which actually calms down the thoughts associated with threat. As quickly as possible when you feel spun out of heart based leadership communication declare the word of God over your circumstance: “I give more authority to the strength of God within me than I do to this momentary disruption in my life and may my words reflect my choice to shift back into the edifying language of the Holy Spirit.”
- 1 John 4:4: “You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
Speaking like a leader involves that art of communication.
Communication is so important because that is were avoidance of miss-understandings happen allowing open communication.
God has given us guidelines on how and what we should speak.
- Don’t worry about what you should speak as a leader
Psalm19.4 “Let the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. O lord my rock and my redeemer.”
2) God has given his people wisdom – so you will communicate the right way with Gods grace.
Psalm 37:30 – the mouth of the righteous utters Wisdom, and his tongue
3) Speak good and helpful things to people that will lift them up and improve them
Proverbs 12:25 (ESV) “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”
Proverbs 25:11 (ESV) “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
- God’s word gives us valuable insights into how we should speak and it Is important that we follow his guidance and leadership.
Matthew 12:37 (ESV) “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts, so we should constantly be filling our hearts and minds with what is best.
HOW TO SPEAK LIKE A LEADER Part 1