Category Archives: personal excellence

Episode 15: Step 3 Emotional Intelligence: Social Awareness

What? It’s not all about me? Grant me the grace of Philippians 2:3 so that I have the patience and depth of surrender of my identity into you needed to truly consider the needs of others better than my own. Jesus, you said that if I desire to find my life I must lose it, perhaps the first step in losing my life is raising my awareness to the emotions and needs of those around me…to seek ways that I can support and assist others into personal excellence rather than seeking out ways that others can help and support me. Once again, I cry out John the Baptist’s prayer: more of You God…less of me.

 

Edge God In Podcast Week 15: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

 

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

 

Focus for the study is on the 3rd essential component of emotional intelligence is social awareness. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. As we expand our ability to manage our own emotions we are better equipped to tune into the emotions of people around us which is a key element in this 3rd step of EQ (Emotional Intelligence). How aware are you of the emotions of others? Do you listen to be understood or to understand? What does God say?

Learn:

Social Awareness: 2 Timothy 2:16: “Avoid profane idle talk for such people will become more and more godless. Their teaching will spread like gangrene.”

Be aware of the energy/behavior of others that surround you.

2 Timothy 3:2: “People will be self-centered and lovers of money, proud, haughty, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, irreligious, callous, implacable, slanderous, licentious, brutal, hating what is good. Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. They make a pretense of religion yet deny it’s power.”

 

2 Timothy 4:3: “Be aware for a time is coming when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths (in amnesia of God’s presence)…But you be self-possessed (not possessed by the ways of the crowd; shiny objects; fame game) in ALL circumstances, put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry.”

What is your ministry in this world? How does the distraction of the world bump you off course? What is your vice that negatively affects your social awareness? Is it cravings for position; possessions or popularity?

Reflect:

5 ways to Lead with Spiritual Intelligence with Emotional Awareness:

 

  1. Care about people – be aware just as God was.

Exodus 3:7:The LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of My people who       are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their sufferings.

2. Embrace differences to make a big difference – don’t view differences as a melting pot but rather as a mosaic of opportunities

Romans 14:13. Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.

3. Help individuals experience significance – Significance is the force that changes people lives and perspectives on what matters most

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

4. Be accountable: No one is perfect. Show vulnerability.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

  1. Be mindful of other people’s needs: A team is more powerful than the sum of its parts – but each part must be continually refurbished and renewed in order for the team to sustain its power. Read Colossians 3:12-14 (the Children’s version is simple and powerful): “God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: Show mercy to others, be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Do not be angry with others, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”

Identify & Integrate:

Emotions will rule your life and you will rise and fall depending upon how the world judges you until you become bigger than the emotion at hand. What does this look like?

 

  • Identify and write down 3 emotions that trigger within you a similar emotion when expressed by another person. For example: when someone expresses frustration towards you, you immediately feel frustrated. Emotional Intelligence around the emotions of other people will move you to respond with questions: What specifically did I do or say that is frustrating you? How specifically could I have expressed what I said with more clarity?
  • Jesus was masterful at asking questions in the midst of emotional outbursts of people around Him. As you explore the emotional responses of other people that trigger a similar emotion within you, you are then in a position to identify it and adjust your behavior to honor the person you are committed to being in Christ. Science shows that when a human being maintains an inner connection to positive emotions (love, kindness, patience, compassion, curiosity) this positive emotion actually shifts the brain waves in the other person who is expressing a negative emotion (selfishness, judgement, envy).

Maintain:

  • As you explore the emotions of others, increase your awareness around what emotions evoke similar emotions within your body. Remember, an emotion is your body’s response to your thought life. For the next week, practice high noticing around other people’s emotions. Releasing all judgment, be the observer verses the reactor. Step off the stage of drama and reflect on how people interact with you and others.
  • At the end of the day journal your observations along with any emotions you experienced as a result of other people’s emotional reactions to life. What works for you and what does not work for you when it comes to your choice to be the observer vs the reactor?

Dear God, grant me the grace of generous assumptions. Help me to see other’s as you see me: as I desire to be rather than how I respond emotionally in ways that does not honor the person you know I want to be in you. Love evokes more love. I love because you first loved me. Help me to be love and kindness where there is no love and kindness, knowing that love and kindness win out in the end and every act on my part to participate in a random act of kindness will go viral in the heavenly realms. Have your way with me in spite of myself. More of you and less of me.

Surround yourself with people who make you a better person in life

Fast From 1 Thing for Brain Strength

 

Are You Shrinking Your Brain?

 

How much of your verbal communication in a 24 hour

period of time contains an element of complaining?

10%? 25% 50% 75% 90%?

 

Take a moment to go into your internal castle, close your eyes and

give this self inventory question a moment to marinate. For any positive

shift to occur it is essential to shine the light of

our awareness on the state of behavior we wish to prune

out of our life.

 

Next question: Are you a conscious communicator? Someone

who pauses before responding and edits and adjusts words

to align with the person you are committed to being.

OR

Have you fallen asleep at the gate of your most powerful

modality to create a positive or negative space around you

on this journey of life: Your Tongue.

 

Science proves that your brain actually shrinks in the midst of

complaining, either from your own mouth or people around you.

Victory over undesirable circumstances lies in your ability

to occupy the space you feel honors the person you are committed

to being. Do you edify yourself and those around you or do

you cut down yourself and those around you? The choice is

yours and makes all the difference in the outcomes you experience.

 

This week I invite you to take a complaining fast, I’m going to join

you in this practice. As you feel a negative conclusion or statement

bubbling up into your mouth, put your hand over your mouth

and step away from the situation if necessary to catch yourself.

As quickly as possible flip the negative thought into a positive one.

 

For example: “I am so exhausted and fed up with my work load.”

Flip It: “I love how much effort I put behind what I do in life, my

body is telling me it’s time to take a break and restore so I can

continue to show up the way I want to show up, and I am going to honor that.”

 

“When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example, although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course one’s life on fire…” James 3:3-6

Nolite Timere: Fear Not!

Because of His Love,

Lauren

Edge God in Podcast 13: Activate Aging Grace _ part 1

Edge God In Podcast Week 14: Activate Aging Grace

Our topic for today is to Activate Aging Grace and we will do this through what the scripture tells us.  A tenant of Emotional Intelligence tells us that Self-Awareness => Self-Management.

But are we following this tenant in the flesh or in the spirit?

God’s way to grow old is to develop a walk with him. Ps: 71:18 says, “Now also when I am old and gray-headed, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to everyone that is to come”.

The reason this old man was able to handle his problems so well in his old age, is because he developed a walk with God, in the years leading to this time and he still was doing God’s work by showing his power to everyone.

The Bible presents aging as a normal process, a natural part of life, an honor.  Proverbs 16:31  and 20:29 speak to the benefits of gray hair.“Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life” (Proverbs 16:31; see also Proverbs 20:29).

God wants us to remember that life is short (James 4:14) and that the beauty of youth is soon gone (Proverbs 31:301 Peter 1:24)

Learn:

1: We have too much vanity and should work to change it:

Ecclesiastes 1:2 Vanity2 of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All vanity.

We are born with a natural tendency to “live for the moment,” but the ultimate futility of that approach is the subject of concern. Proverbs 16:18

2: Our current goal in life is beauty and youth which should be changed to wisdom and knowledge.

God’s desire for us is that we become wiser. Solomon’s hope is that people will grow wiser in the use of their God-given “portion” or allotment before they die. Ecclesiastes 8: 1-  Who is like the wise? And who knows the interpretation of a thing? A man’s wisdom makes his face shine, and the hardness of his face is changed.

3: Individualism has become a disturbing aspect of aging and not caring for the old has become the new norm.

Timothy 5:3-4 says if we honor our parents we are honoring God. It says Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

What is your mindset on aging? How does the Fountain of Youth take you off course and away from his intentions? Are you social aware of his thought on the aging process, are does the flesh and ego get in the way?

Edge God In Podcast 13: Emotional Intelligence: Step 2

Edge God In Bible Study =>

2nd Step in Emotional Intelligence:

Self-management: Requires high noticing around what spins you and the ability to adjust.

How? Allow the Holy Spirit to guide the flesh vs. the flesh to guide the Spirit.

Romans: 8:5: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on the things of the flesh. Those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on the things of the Spirit.

Flesh: Romans 5:5:  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you live in the flesh you are concerned about the things in the flesh.  What are things of the flesh? Anything that distracts you from communion with God: status; fame; popularity; money; opinions of others; greed; malice; self glorification and gratification; jealousy; fits of rage; coveting. Basically like a spoiled child the flesh is never satisfied, it is always craving more. The flesh will also question God and feel victimized: Why me?

Colossians 3:5-10: “ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

What is your vice? Have high noticing and then the ability to manage the fleshly flare-ups.

Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The Spirit of God dwells in you. When you are in the Spirit you are pleasing to God: heartfelt compassion, putting up with others.

Romans 8:12: We are not debtors to the flesh.

High Noticing is essential for self-management. The fruit of the Spirit self-control and it is an essential ingredient for effective self-management.

~Lauren Estella

Edge God In Podcast 14: Emotional Intelligence in God: Step 1

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Holy Spirit, grant me wisdom. Show me who you have created me to be to in this world. Help me to see myself as God sees me rather than how I judge myself. I give you permission to remove everything within me that is not of God, that does not glorify Him or make Him recognizable in my life: my judgments…towards self and others…my conclusions about life that are based in story verses reality, including assuming and mind reading. I am nothing without you Lord, and with you I am everything and feel complete, significant and valued. Refresh me Lord so that I remain in you. Have your way with me in spite of myself.

Edge God In Podcast 14: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

Click Here to Download the PDF Edge God In Bible Study for this Podcast: EdgeGodIn Week 13- 1st Step in Emotional Intelligence

 

Edge God In Podcast 37: Food for the Flock

Feed the Flock

Father God, I ask that you bless this bible study by opening up our hearts and minds to the learning you have for us today.  I ask you that you enrich our abilities to learn, digest, apply all that we learn in a way that creates change in our hearts and minds.  With your guidance, I ask that your word provides the knowledge needed to shepherd your flock toward the revelation of knowledge that you have for them.  I thank you in advance for enriching our lives with this time to learn and experience more of you.

Edge God in Podcast Week 12: Food for the Flock

What does it mean to feed to flock?

Feeding the flock is a commitment to the worship of God. It is an active process which requires one to directly and personally experience him. It also takes us being actively involved in the works of the church (church meaning the body of Christ).

What does God say about feeding the flock?

1 Peter 5:2 says, “shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness;

Jeremiah 3:15 says “Then I will give you shepherds after My own heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding.

Jeremiah 23:4 says, “I will also raise up shepherds over them and they will tend them, and they will not be afraid any longer, nor be terrified, nor will any be missing,” declares the LORD.

How to I shepherd the change in our hearts and minds?

  • In the world – We must be ready to receive the world no matter what state of readiness

Acts 17:10-11 says: received the work with all readiness, and searched the scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.

We look too much into what we are told and don’t research or study what is there. In order to receive and flock the world, we need to be ready.

  • By faith – we have to return to the faith of the disciples. There were countless examples of their faith that stood the test of time. God says in Romans 14:23, that for whatever in not form faith is sin. He says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 twe walk by faith, not by sight.

Faith takes a relationship with God. It must be a relationship of trust at the root of the foundation. Trusting is hard if you can‘t see it and that is where the faith comes in.

  • Through the Gospels: they tell us that there is a sense of urgency in the feeding of the flock. God says we no not the time or hour when the son of man comes back but we do know what are work here is to do and that requires us to urgently and diligently work to do this.

Conclusion:  Feeding the flock can involve all forms of works in the church. Healing, ministering, teaching, etc.  Neglecting the “feeding the flock” is in turn very badly damaging to preaching the gospel to the world. You can’t be a casual observer but must be personally involved.

Edge God In Podcast 12: 5 Power Themes You Want to Know

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Sweet Jesus you call me to take every thought captive and make it obedient to you, perhaps this is the 1 practice that will allow me to release stress and anxiety within my life. Give me the grace today to pray about everything that spins or bumps me out of your peace that passes all human understanding. The world screams for my attention as hundreds of shiny objects cross my path in a day. May gentleness flow through my intonation to myself and those around me.

Edge God In Podcast 12: 5 Power Themes You Want to Know

Click Here to Download the PDF Edge God In Bible Study for this Podcast: EdgeGodIn Week 12 5 Themes You Want to Know

 

Edge God In Podcast 10: Trust Trumps Fear

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Dear Lord, help me to know deep in my soul that you have my best interests in mind so much so that no matter what happens around me in life I am able to trust with complete confidence that with you I am safe and loved.

Edge God In Podcast 10: Trust Trumps Fear

Click Here to Download the PDF Edge God In Bible Study for this Podcast: EdgeGodIn Week 10 Trust Trumps Fear