Category Archives: personal excellence

Bible Study, how to, Leadership, personal excellence, Relationships

2nd Step in Emotional Intelligence – Self Management

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This week we reflect on the Self Management part of Emotional Intelligence

Listen to how Lauren shares what Self Management is and how to be guided by the spirit and not the flesh.

Self-management: Requires high noticing around what spins you and the ability to adjust.

How? Allow the Holy Spirit to guide the flesh vs. the flesh to guide the Spirit.

Romans: 8:5: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on the things of the flesh. Those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on the things of the Spirit.

Flesh: Romans 5:5:  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you live in the flesh you are concerned about the things in the flesh. What are things of the flesh? Anything that distracts you from communion with God: status; fame; popularity; money; opinions of others; greed; malice; self glorification and gratification; jealousy; fits of rage; coveting. Basically like a spoiled child the flesh is never satisfied, it is always craving more. The flesh will also question God and feel victimized: Why me?

Colossians 3:5-10: “ 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

What is your vice? Have high noticing and then the ability to manage the fleshly flare-ups.

Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The Spirit of God dwells in you. When you are in the Spirit you are pleasing to God: heartfelt compassion, putting up with others.

Romans 8:12: We are not debtors to the flesh.

High Noticing is essential for self-management. The fruit of the Spirit self-control and it is an essential ingredient for effective self-management.

Estella continues the conversation by sharing 3 steps in How one can Manage EQ with Gods word.

The How to manage it EQ

Step 1: Gain Knowledge of competencies on an individual level.

When we talk about EQ self Management, one must examine competencies that enable a person to demonstrate intelligent use of their emotions in themselves and others.

Scripture:
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 16:22 Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly.
Proverbs 1:5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Step 2: Align and be accountable to these competencies:

Competences like Emotional self awareness, confidence, control trustworthiness and adaptability should be aligned at all levels

Scripture:
Eph. 4:12: Speaks to “Alignment increases your authority to function in Christ’s kingdom” The Scripture says, “For the equipping (alignment in Greek) of the saints, for the work of service.
Gal. 4:22-31 (Accountable to this) This son of the flesh came about because Abraham and Sarah refused to be accountable to God.
Prov. 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”

Step 3: Work with the like minded for maximum EQ performance

If the individual (vision & values), the job (tasks and functions) and the group environment (structure & Systems) are aligned it maximizes stimulation, challenge and performance of EQ.

Scripture:
Matthew 18:20: Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20″For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Lauren & Estella

Bible Study, Christian, Faith, how to, Inspiration, personal excellence, Relationships, Stress relief, tips for purpose driven life, Uncategorized

Self-Awareness in Authentic Leadership

nothing has the power to define you unless you give it away

Edge God In Bible Study: April 18th: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

Focus for the study is on the first essential component of emotional intelligence: self-awareness. We cannot give out effectively what we have not given attention to within ourselves. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. What does God say?

3 Questions to reflect upon when considering self-awareness:

  • Who Am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • What will it matter?

Who Am I? Scripture:

  • John 1:12: “To those who believe in His name are given the right to become the children of God.
  • Romans 8:15-16: I have received a Spirit of sonship…Abba Father, this spirit testifies that I am a child of the living God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: I am part of a royal priesthood, a Holy Nation, a people belonging to God.

Why am I here? Scripture:

  • 2 Corinthians 5:20-21: To make God recognizable in this world. I am Christ’s ambassador as if God were making His appeal through me. For our sake He made Him to be sin who did not sin that I might become the righteousness (the excellence) of God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: As a part of God’s child and a Holy Nation I am here to declare the praises of Him who called me our of darkness into light.
  • Galatians 2:20: I have been put to death with Christ on the cross so it’s no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me this life I live by faith alone in Him who died for me. I am here to live by faith and allow Jesus to live within and through me.

What will it matter? …when I prayed on this one I got: “why will it matter? It will matter in all of eternity for the sake of salvation of souls, your choice to live for me will end in life.”

What will it matter – What will it Matter?

It will matter because in order to truly have self-awareness and self-management you need to understand and ask yourself “How do I recognize my own emotions and how are they affecting my thoughts and behavior? “

You can know this by understanding your Strengths, Weaknesses and Self Confidence.

1) The scripture tells us how to recognize our emotions and know if they are affecting our thoughts and behaviors.

John 8:31-32 AMP, Jesus says: “ If you abide in My word … you are truly My disciples. And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free”

Prov. 3:5-6 NKJV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths”

2) We must know and understand our Strengths, Weaknesses, and have self-confidence to know what and why it matters to God.

  • Strengths come from God: Philippians 4:13 King James Version (KJV) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
  • Weakness are taken care of by God: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
  • Self Confidence is given to us through the scriptures:
    • Philippians 4:13: ESV: I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
    • 2 Timothy 1:7: ESV: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
    • Hebrews 10:35-36 ESV: Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

3) We must remember the saying “What would Jesus do?” to manage our emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
Because of His Love <><

Lauren & Estella

Bible Study, how to, Leadership, personal excellence, Relationships

How to Lead with Emotional Intelligence

As believers, we are sometimes challenged in how to incorporate Gods principles into our leadership.  The task of balancing scripture with the secular world seems difficult at times, but in actuality it can be quite simple.

Understanding Emotional intelligence (EQ) allows people to understand their own emotions better and to take control over them.  It provides temperance and self control allowing for a higher intelligence.

Outlined below are  the 5 components of  EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and Biblical Ways to Apply It

  • Self-Awareness: Know you are perfect in his image: Genesis 1:26
  • Self-Reflection: Meditate on what He has for you through His Word: Joshua 1:8
  • Motivation: Be Abounding: 1 Corinthians: 15:58
  • Empathy: Feel the same for others: Romans 12:15
  • Social Skills: What you do for others you do for God: Matthew 25:40

Below are also some additional scriptures and thoughts that can help us lead with EQ shared by Lauren.

  • John 21:20-22: Avoid comparisons, occupy the space God has entrusted to your care.
  • John 10:1-18: Awareness of others: “I know my sheep and my sheep know me.”
  • John 18:4-8: A leader  with high emotional intelligence knows their identity and does not rise and fall depending upon the judgments surrounding them. Soldiers came for Jesus: In spite of the struggle Jesus occupied His identity; did not lie to avoid discomfort: “I am He”
  • John 18:4-8, too often those in authority will coward back and run from responsibility or blame. High character leadership with emotional intelligence is marked by compassion: John 18: Peter’s denial/
  • John 21:15-18, Jesus compassion: Peter do you love me?

Developing Emotional Intelligence takes constant work and reflection. It a skill that can only be mastered when it is a constant focus in our lives.  Just as the scripture says “Study to show ourselves approved”, so is the effects of EQ when constantly studied and used with Gods Word.

~Dr. Estella

Faith, personal excellence, prayer, wellness

Cease to Do & Simply Be

Definitive Purpose

 

“Be Still and Know that I Am God” Psalm 46:10

 

Perhaps the invitation here is to infuse your daily tasks with moments of silence.  Cease to DO & simply BE so that the divine spark that is ignited by intimacy with God can override the antics of your mind which is fueled by unbridled ambitions and the need to analyze, interpret and conclude…wow, just writing those 3 words is an energy leak.

 

How about this week you begin and end your day simply sitting in silence as you express the simple longing of the young boy Samuel: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

 

Sit for 5-10 minutes in stillness morning & evening and expand 1 minute each day.  Then infuse your day with shorter moments of stillness before God: take 2 minute silent breaks from the mind and lean into God. Watch and observe yourself do life after these mind breaks and notice how inner peace, confidence and kindness begin to have its way within your responses to life.

 

Next week I will expand on this practice exploring the methodology around hearing the voice of God.

 

Dear God, may I be quick to hear and slow to speak as I integrate moments of silence and observation of your presence in all aspects of my life.

 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Bible Study, Christian, Faith, personal excellence, prayer, tips for purpose driven life, wellness

A Prayer at The Break of Dawn

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Dear God, thank you for the gift of a new day of life to explore growing in the ways of loving and being loved…You, myself and those around me.

 

Once again I release my grip on my need to know why things happen as they do along with my need to know how things will turn out. You are in control and that is enough for me. I give you full permission to have your way with me in spite of myself, for I have learned on this short journey of life that as I have surrendered all to you, I am never left empty handed.

 

Continue to release the shadows that distract me from living out the purpose for which I was created: to love and beloved. Protect me from the need to own, control, possess, analyze, interpret, conclude; from attachments, assumptions, expectations and all sense of entitlement along with the antics of comparison, jealousy and envy… for nothing thrives in a state of war. The only thing I am entitled to know is that you love me completely just as I am and that you will never leave me or forsake me, because of this all things are possible for me. Move me this day to step away from the 3 fuels of discontent and inner turmoil: popularity; position and possessions. For what will I gain if I gain the whole world yet forfeit my soul?

 

Grant me a spirit of joy and laughter that I may light up from the inside out and may all those who come into this light feel refreshed and inspired. Use my life and my death for the sake of salvation of souls. Use this gift of teaching you have blessed me with to guide people back to themselves as connected to you, so that they may experience their fullest potential of being on earth. You have revealed to me through my own dark night of the soul experience that you do your greatest work in the eye of the storm, through this knowledge resurrect within me a courage that far outweighs the momentary distractions of fear, doubt and worry. For you have brought about a greater good in spite of the darkness than had my personal trials never occurred.

 

Move me to lean into the mystical experience captured within one of your most masterful creations: the beautiful fragrant rose that emerges in the midst of the thorns. You have me, and I have you…I tremble with eager expectation as to the beauty we will create together as I step into another gift of life today.

 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Christian, Faith, how to, Inspiration, personal excellence, purpose

Shiny Objects Distracting You?

Jesus Peru

“And others are they that are sown among the thorns; these are

they that have heard the word, and the cares of the world, and

the deceitfulness of riches and the lust of other things 

entering in, choke the word & it becomes unfruitful.” 

Jesus: Mark 4:18-19

 

This is a very popular parable that has circulated

around the globe evoking a sense of curiosity around what kind

of “seed” you happen to be in this world and where have

you been sown?  We have all heard at one point the

common saying, “you reap what you sow.”

So what kind of seed are you? and what have you

given power over to that is cutting off the life

source that enables you to bloom where you are planted?

 

Do you follow shiny objects resulting in

a very shallow root system so when the opinions of

other people and circumstances do not show up

in your favor your inner motivation and inspiration

become flat lined & unfruitful?

 

Or do you withstand the dark moments, with no sign

of light, having full confidence that your God given ability

to break through the dirt of life & bloom in the midst of it

all will override the momentary discomfort

of the growth process?

 

The choice for a deep reliable root system along

with the ability to bloom where you are planted is yours

and will make all the difference in the outcomes

you will experience on this journey of life.

 

I remember when my oncologist said, “it is our goal to

try to get you to 5 years.” In spite of that dirt

surrounding me I chose God and all of the healing and

love that flow from that choice with the gift of each new

day.  Live to bloom no matter what surrounds you.

Now Pause Breathe in the Holy Spirit and Exhale any tension in your body,

Today

Dear God,

 

As is the case with a beautiful garden, there is a

season when the blooms fade and the vibrant colors 

are replaced with dull, life less surroundings.  Yet, in

spite of the lack of life that is captured by the human eye,

there is the process of growth and strength

that is occurring beneath the dark, cold dirt.

As the essential life giving elements flow from 

your hand into the soil and seeds that lie beneath 

the surface, new life, growth and abundance

return once again to the faithful seeds that

don’t doubt their God given ability to bloom once

again…with more strength & expansion than

the previous season. May it be the same for me this

season. Remind me of my capability to bloom and live

a fruitful life no matter what surrounds me.

 

Because of His Love <><

Lauren

Bible Study, Faith, how to, Inspiration, personal excellence, purpose

True Pride vs A Prideful Nature

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How to Recognize Pride vs. A Prideful Nature:

 

True Pride:

 

True pride that has its way in you is unable to hear and respond to the voice of humility.  Therefore it has an insatiable desire to dominate, be seen, acknowledged & recognized. The serpents of jealousy, envy and lack and scarcity slither around in true pride robbing it’s host of inner peace and confidence.

 

This pride gets easily frustrated & anger flares up when it’s plans are thwarted and people stand in its way of getting what it wants.

 

It is fueled by unbridled ambition that puts things before people.  The non-essential before the essential, and will do anything, often void of moral conscious, to get what it wants.

 

This pride is like a spoiled child and is seldom content or deeply satisfied…always wanting more.

 

A Spiritually Discerning Person with a Prideful Nature:

 

Know this: Even as a human being seeking to love, serve and honor God you will experience prideful flare-ups.  Often times you will think you have passed a godly character development class in earth school only to find yourself taking a refresher course ;  ).

 

The difference between a person who lives in service of pride and one who seeks to put God’s ways of love and service first and experiences occasional moments of prideful flare-ups is this:

 

As soon as pride shows up the spiritually discerning person will feel the burn of whatever action, thought, or word associated with the prideful moment within their biology.

 

Feeling the discomfort this person will choose to return to God as quickly as possible.  Identifying and adjusting their thoughts, words and deeds to keep themselves aligned with the higher good of all concerned, which flows form their intimacy with God.

 

The spiritually discerning person sees pride for what it is and seeks the higher ground of humility, love and gratitude.  They are also able to forgive others when they have prideful moments.

 

Basically, the truly prideful person is enslaved to pride as they continually choose it over the ways of their godly nature.

 

The person who has a prideful nature or tendency as humans do, yet is not a proud person, is one who rejects prideful flare-ups and quickly makes amends as they choose God over their prideful moment.

 

Begin again, and again and again with even more congruency today than yesterday.

 

Align your actions with your God given natural state of being filling your responses to life with love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness and self-control.

 

Authentic transformation beings with ruthless honesty and the ability to adjust and choose God’s abundant grace which always offers the opportunity to begin again.

“Dear God rescue us from the weak moments of the flesh which rob us of the knowing that we are enough IN YOU. We lack nothing, as St. Teresa of Avila says, when we have you. Fill up those spaces within our interior castle which are void of the remembrance that humility, love and confidence make up the foundation for lasting inner peace and life satisfaction.”

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Bible Study, Christian, Faith, how to, Inspiration, personal excellence, purpose, Stress relief, tips for purpose driven life, wellness

God or Man? Flip Your Authority

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI5i-7cCHl4

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4

 

Too often we give more authority to circumstance than we do to

our God given ability to overcome, learn from and move 

through perceived challenges in life. This week remember

that GREATER IS THE ONE who lives in YOU than 

the one or thing in the world.

 

Your experience of rising and 

falling depending upon how the world judges you is in 

direct proportion to the power YOU give to the outside

circumstance to define your worth, value and capability. 

If God is for you…who or what can be against you? Flip

your authority today: Give more authority to the strength of God

within you than you give to the opinions of people around you and

or specific outcomes. Failure is just a label we place on an

undesirable outcome.  Think about this for a moment, if

you truly believe that God has plans to prosper you and not to

harm you, to give you hope and a future then whatever pops

up before you can be flipped into positive forward momentum.

What if you take a moment this week before any potential threat

to your sense of safety and ability to overcome and you remember

this simple thought: God has overcome all that I feel has overcome

(or potentially overcome) me in my life…He sees all and is more

than capable of doing more than I can ever ask or imagine for

my ultimate good in this world, I am safe and connected to the

One that is greater than circumstance.

 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Christian, Faith, Inspiration, personal excellence

Healing Exists Beyond Time

God Steps Into the World

Before a healing took place Jesus would often inquire about the time and intensity of their condition. Perhaps to remind us all that healing is not restricted by the longevity or intensity of the condition…when God says, “It is finished”.

Nature resonates with this truth. Don’t forget you have the same God given ability to bloom no matter what conditions surround you!

As I paused for a moment under a magnificent tree this morning I asked, “So who told you when to bloom and when to remain dormant?” God’s divine intelligence woven throughout all of nature speak to this truth:

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” Romans 1:20

There are no challenges in life only situations that invite us to remember our God given ability to come up with creative solutions…and move mountains.

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><