2nd Step in Emotional Intelligence – Self Management

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This week we reflect on the Self Management part of Emotional Intelligence

Listen to how Lauren shares what Self Management is and how to be guided by the spirit and not the flesh.

Self-management: Requires high noticing around what spins you and the ability to adjust.

How? Allow the Holy Spirit to guide the flesh vs. the flesh to guide the Spirit.

Romans: 8:5: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on the things of the flesh. Those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on the things of the Spirit.

Flesh: Romans 5:5:  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you live in the flesh you are concerned about the things in the flesh. What are things of the flesh? Anything that distracts you from communion with God: status; fame; popularity; money; opinions of others; greed; malice; self glorification and gratification; jealousy; fits of rage; coveting. Basically like a spoiled child the flesh is never satisfied, it is always craving more. The flesh will also question God and feel victimized: Why me?

Colossians 3:5-10: “ 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

What is your vice? Have high noticing and then the ability to manage the fleshly flare-ups.

Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The Spirit of God dwells in you. When you are in the Spirit you are pleasing to God: heartfelt compassion, putting up with others.

Romans 8:12: We are not debtors to the flesh.

High Noticing is essential for self-management. The fruit of the Spirit self-control and it is an essential ingredient for effective self-management.

Estella continues the conversation by sharing 3 steps in How one can Manage EQ with Gods word.

The How to manage it EQ

Step 1: Gain Knowledge of competencies on an individual level.

When we talk about EQ self Management, one must examine competencies that enable a person to demonstrate intelligent use of their emotions in themselves and others.

Scripture:
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 16:22 Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly.
Proverbs 1:5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Step 2: Align and be accountable to these competencies:

Competences like Emotional self awareness, confidence, control trustworthiness and adaptability should be aligned at all levels

Scripture:
Eph. 4:12: Speaks to “Alignment increases your authority to function in Christ’s kingdom” The Scripture says, “For the equipping (alignment in Greek) of the saints, for the work of service.
Gal. 4:22-31 (Accountable to this) This son of the flesh came about because Abraham and Sarah refused to be accountable to God.
Prov. 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”

Step 3: Work with the like minded for maximum EQ performance

If the individual (vision & values), the job (tasks and functions) and the group environment (structure & Systems) are aligned it maximizes stimulation, challenge and performance of EQ.

Scripture:
Matthew 18:20: Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20″For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Lauren & Estella

Self-Awareness in Authentic Leadership

nothing has the power to define you unless you give it away

Edge God In Bible Study: April 18th: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

Focus for the study is on the first essential component of emotional intelligence: self-awareness. We cannot give out effectively what we have not given attention to within ourselves. Our ability to effectively manage our relationships with those around us is in direct proportion to our ability to manage our own perceptions and emotions. What does God say?

3 Questions to reflect upon when considering self-awareness:

  • Who Am I?
  • Why am I here?
  • What will it matter?

Who Am I? Scripture:

  • John 1:12: “To those who believe in His name are given the right to become the children of God.
  • Romans 8:15-16: I have received a Spirit of sonship…Abba Father, this spirit testifies that I am a child of the living God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: I am part of a royal priesthood, a Holy Nation, a people belonging to God.

Why am I here? Scripture:

  • 2 Corinthians 5:20-21: To make God recognizable in this world. I am Christ’s ambassador as if God were making His appeal through me. For our sake He made Him to be sin who did not sin that I might become the righteousness (the excellence) of God.
  • 1 Peter 2:9: As a part of God’s child and a Holy Nation I am here to declare the praises of Him who called me our of darkness into light.
  • Galatians 2:20: I have been put to death with Christ on the cross so it’s no longer I who live but Christ who lives within me this life I live by faith alone in Him who died for me. I am here to live by faith and allow Jesus to live within and through me.

What will it matter? …when I prayed on this one I got: “why will it matter? It will matter in all of eternity for the sake of salvation of souls, your choice to live for me will end in life.”

What will it matter – What will it Matter?

It will matter because in order to truly have self-awareness and self-management you need to understand and ask yourself “How do I recognize my own emotions and how are they affecting my thoughts and behavior? “

You can know this by understanding your Strengths, Weaknesses and Self Confidence.

1) The scripture tells us how to recognize our emotions and know if they are affecting our thoughts and behaviors.

John 8:31-32 AMP, Jesus says: “ If you abide in My word … you are truly My disciples. And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free”

Prov. 3:5-6 NKJV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths”

2) We must know and understand our Strengths, Weaknesses, and have self-confidence to know what and why it matters to God.

  • Strengths come from God: Philippians 4:13 King James Version (KJV) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
  • Weakness are taken care of by God: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (ESV) But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
  • Self Confidence is given to us through the scriptures:
    • Philippians 4:13: ESV: I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
    • 2 Timothy 1:7: ESV: For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
    • Hebrews 10:35-36 ESV: Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

3) We must remember the saying “What would Jesus do?” to manage our emotions, thoughts and behaviors.
Because of His Love <><

Lauren & Estella

How to Lead with Emotional Intelligence

As believers, we are sometimes challenged in how to incorporate Gods principles into our leadership.  The task of balancing scripture with the secular world seems difficult at times, but in actuality it can be quite simple.

Understanding Emotional intelligence (EQ) allows people to understand their own emotions better and to take control over them.  It provides temperance and self control allowing for a higher intelligence.

Outlined below are  the 5 components of  EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and Biblical Ways to Apply It

  • Self-Awareness: Know you are perfect in his image: Genesis 1:26
  • Self-Reflection: Meditate on what He has for you through His Word: Joshua 1:8
  • Motivation: Be Abounding: 1 Corinthians: 15:58
  • Empathy: Feel the same for others: Romans 12:15
  • Social Skills: What you do for others you do for God: Matthew 25:40

Below are also some additional scriptures and thoughts that can help us lead with EQ shared by Lauren.

  • John 21:20-22: Avoid comparisons, occupy the space God has entrusted to your care.
  • John 10:1-18: Awareness of others: “I know my sheep and my sheep know me.”
  • John 18:4-8: A leader  with high emotional intelligence knows their identity and does not rise and fall depending upon the judgments surrounding them. Soldiers came for Jesus: In spite of the struggle Jesus occupied His identity; did not lie to avoid discomfort: “I am He”
  • John 18:4-8, too often those in authority will coward back and run from responsibility or blame. High character leadership with emotional intelligence is marked by compassion: John 18: Peter’s denial/
  • John 21:15-18, Jesus compassion: Peter do you love me?

Developing Emotional Intelligence takes constant work and reflection. It a skill that can only be mastered when it is a constant focus in our lives.  Just as the scripture says “Study to show ourselves approved”, so is the effects of EQ when constantly studied and used with Gods Word.

~Dr. Estella

How to Lean Into Holy Week

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“Be still and know that I Am God.” Psalm 46:10

The world screams and God whispers. “Speak Lord, your servant is listening” said young Samuel to God.

A simple attentiveness along with a willingness to listen unleashes a conversation between God and man. Take time this week to still the demands of the world around you. Pause and reflect before you respond this week on the words, intonation and body language you want to show up with that will make God recognizable in this world.

Slow down and linger in the small ways that God reaches out to you every day. Be still and know that God so loves you that He gave His one and only Son to win you over into full communion with Him. Be still and know that there is nothing that can separate you from the love God has for you. Your past regrets are swallowed up in a single glance from the author and perfecter of your faith.  Be still and know that the love God has instilled within your heart through faith in Christ unleashes the knowing of your soul that ALL things are possible for you when they are aligned with His perfect will for your life. This love within you believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things…this love within you is greater than your circumstance or struggle. You are not your struggle.

Shake off your grave clothes and go forth into your day knowing that the One who calls you is faithful and He will give you the grace you need to conquer with the Spirit of power, love and self-discipline which He has woven within you through your baptism and choice to follow His son.  Slow down and linger in the knowing that it is for FREEDOM that Christ has set you free, stand firm in that knowing and do not allow your circumstance to burden your mind and emotions. Throw off everything that hinders you and the sin that so easily entangles you and RUN the RACE of endurance considering the ONE who endured such opposition from sinful man so that you will not grow weary in your struggle against sin. The insults of those who insult you have fallen on the One who died to win over you affection and attention.

As this Holy Week unfolds, pause, reflect and lean into the One who calls you by name. The One who promises to make all things new and remove your grave clothes from past pain; rejection; false beliefs and condemnation. See He is doing a new thing in your life, take time this week to explore what that looks like for you, feels like for you and sounds like for you. “Behold I make ALL THINGS NEW.”

Have a Blessed Holy Week, take time to lean into the One who leaned into death in order to win you LIFE,

Lauren <><

#HolyWeek

What Has Mastered You?

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A Man/Woman is enslaved by whatever has mastered him/her. (2 Peter 2:19)

What has mastered you? The need for approval? Expectations around how you think life or people should show up for you each day? Assumptions? A hunger to be recognized or esteemed? Negative self talk? Perfectionism? A lack and scarcity mindset? Unbridled ambition that replaces what you value you most? The need for external positive reinforcement in order to step out in faith? Your outer perceptions of circumstances? Past pain? Past regrets?

This week call out loud what you have given the ability to master you. Take each item and tap on your thymus (a major circuit breaker in your body located two inches below the U-shaped dip in your neck) as you proclaim:

“I have given power to external perceptions (proclaim your specific circumstance) to define my sense of capability, worth and God given purpose.  I choose to RELEASE my perspective of outer circumstance and the unhealthy power I have given it easily and consistently so that my words, deeds and actions reflect a new perspective; an internal vision that flows from my relationship with God, soul perspective and those things I value most in this life.”

Dear God, you have set me free.  Fill me down to my cellular level with an eternal perspective that flows from the perfect wisdom my soul always knows and my body, including my perceptions and thoughts, simply forgets.

Because of His Peace and Love,

Lauren <><

Cease to Do & Simply Be

Definitive Purpose

 

“Be Still and Know that I Am God” Psalm 46:10

 

Perhaps the invitation here is to infuse your daily tasks with moments of silence.  Cease to DO & simply BE so that the divine spark that is ignited by intimacy with God can override the antics of your mind which is fueled by unbridled ambitions and the need to analyze, interpret and conclude…wow, just writing those 3 words is an energy leak.

 

How about this week you begin and end your day simply sitting in silence as you express the simple longing of the young boy Samuel: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

 

Sit for 5-10 minutes in stillness morning & evening and expand 1 minute each day.  Then infuse your day with shorter moments of stillness before God: take 2 minute silent breaks from the mind and lean into God. Watch and observe yourself do life after these mind breaks and notice how inner peace, confidence and kindness begin to have its way within your responses to life.

 

Next week I will expand on this practice exploring the methodology around hearing the voice of God.

 

Dear God, may I be quick to hear and slow to speak as I integrate moments of silence and observation of your presence in all aspects of my life.

 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Step into the Unfamiliar

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Dear God,

Thank you for loving us enough to call us into the unfamiliar, reminding us of Godly character  and strength we too often lock up in the face of fear, doubt and worry. The unfamiliar reminds us of the person you call us to be in this world: faith-filled with a mission to make you recognizable.

 

Q. When in your life, perhaps it’s now, has God called you into the unfamiliar? A few examples:

  1. Abraham & Sarah: Having a baby at 90
  2. Moses in the Desert for 40 Years: Comes up on the “promise land” filled with Giants.
  3. Noah Building the Ark on Dry Land
  4. Lazarus Called Back from Death
  5. Peter Called to Walk on Water

 

Enjoy the Replay from our Recent Edge God In Virtual Bible Study:

CLICK HERE

Join us for our next virtual live Edge God In Bible Study Feb 8th at 7:15 am MST:  CLICK HERE to sign up.

Because of His Life,

Lauren <><

A Prayer at The Break of Dawn

 

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Dear God, thank you for the gift of a new day of life to explore growing in the ways of loving and being loved…You, myself and those around me.

 

Once again I release my grip on my need to know why things happen as they do along with my need to know how things will turn out. You are in control and that is enough for me. I give you full permission to have your way with me in spite of myself, for I have learned on this short journey of life that as I have surrendered all to you, I am never left empty handed.

 

Continue to release the shadows that distract me from living out the purpose for which I was created: to love and beloved. Protect me from the need to own, control, possess, analyze, interpret, conclude; from attachments, assumptions, expectations and all sense of entitlement along with the antics of comparison, jealousy and envy… for nothing thrives in a state of war. The only thing I am entitled to know is that you love me completely just as I am and that you will never leave me or forsake me, because of this all things are possible for me. Move me this day to step away from the 3 fuels of discontent and inner turmoil: popularity; position and possessions. For what will I gain if I gain the whole world yet forfeit my soul?

 

Grant me a spirit of joy and laughter that I may light up from the inside out and may all those who come into this light feel refreshed and inspired. Use my life and my death for the sake of salvation of souls. Use this gift of teaching you have blessed me with to guide people back to themselves as connected to you, so that they may experience their fullest potential of being on earth. You have revealed to me through my own dark night of the soul experience that you do your greatest work in the eye of the storm, through this knowledge resurrect within me a courage that far outweighs the momentary distractions of fear, doubt and worry. For you have brought about a greater good in spite of the darkness than had my personal trials never occurred.

 

Move me to lean into the mystical experience captured within one of your most masterful creations: the beautiful fragrant rose that emerges in the midst of the thorns. You have me, and I have you…I tremble with eager expectation as to the beauty we will create together as I step into another gift of life today.

 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

What the Bible tells us about Mindfulness

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There are many scriptures in the bible that give us examples of how we should be mindful in our thoughts, actions, and deeds.  They also tell us how we as Christians  should  fill our minds with the knowledge and things of Christ.

To be mindful is to be present and to have focused thoughts.  But what should we be mindful of?

Col 3:2  says “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on this earth”.

With all the chaos in the world,  we have the peace in knowing that the things of this world  or only  a moment,  but the one promised to us is eternal. ~Dr. stella