In this final week of the Emotional Intelligence studies , Lauren and Estella share the 4^th Step in Emotional Intelligence for Authentic Leadership:

Lauren starts the study by sharing scriptures on relationship management and unmanaged emotions.  She then uses powerful examples of the leadership of Moses to demonstrate how we as Christians should lead and manage emotions. 

Relationship Management: Perceived emotions; use emotions; understand emotions; manage emotions

Unmanaged emotions can lead to gossip; bullying; envy; jealousy; victimization; complaining below the line behaviors

Numbers 11:

What does God thinks of complaining? Overwhelm occurs when delegating is overlooked in the face of “I can do it all” mentality. Observe what God does for Moses (sends 70 people to share in his gifts and talents to support the job responsibilities). How well you manage your own emotions will spill over into how you manage the emotions of those around you in relationship.

“You too, be patient and strengthen your hearts, because the Lord’s coming is near. Do not complain about one another, brothers, so that you will not be judged.” James 5:8-9

“He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick tempered exalts folly (foolish, lack of good sense or understanding). A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:29-30

Estella furthers the conversation by sharing the importance we as Christians have in understanding how to manage and express these emotions and also how to connect our emotions positively with others. She shares three points and scriptures to help us achieve this.

Emotional intelligence has been defined as the ability to monitor and interpret one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions and use this information to guide one’s actions and behaviors.

It is important that we as Christian coaches understand how to manage and express emotions.  Additionally, connecting our emotions with others is important.

1)Relationships the involve learning from from others:

Proverbs 12:20

20 Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

2)Relationship that involve connection

Hebrews 10:24-25

24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

3) Relationships involves peaceful resolutions

Ephesians 4:2-3

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Lauren & Estella

In today ‘s virtual bible study on “Blab”,  Estella & Lauren shared key areas that will help you lead with EI using Gods’ Principles.

Lauren shared what Gods says about social awareness and behavior. in the next few paragraphs and scriptures.

Social Awareness: 2 Timothy 2:16: “Avoid profane idle talk for such people will become more and more godless. Their teaching will spread like gangrene.”

Be aware of the energy/behavior of others that surround you.

2 Timothy 3:2: “People will be self-centered and lovers of money, proud, haughty, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, irreligious, callous, implacable, slanderous, licentious, brutal, hating what is good. Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. They make a pretense of religion yet deny it’s power.”

2 Timothy 4:3: “Be aware for a time is coming when people will not tolerate sound doctrine but following their own desires and insatiable curiosity, will accumulate teachers and will stop listening to the truth and will be diverted to myths (in amnesia of God’s presence)…But you be self-possessed (not possessed by the ways of the crowd; shiny objects; fame game) in ALL circumstances, put up with hardship; perform the work of an evangelist; fulfill your ministry.”

What is your ministry in this world? How does the distraction of the world bump you off course? What is your vice that negatively affects your social awareness? Is it cravings for position; possessions or popularity?

Estella continues the conversation by sharing  5 ways to Lead with spiritual Emotional Intelligence in the remaining paragraphs. 

1. Care about people – Be aware just as God was.

Exodus 3:7:The LORD said, “I have surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their sufferings.

2. Embrace differences to make a big difference – Don’t view differences as a melting pot but rather as a mosaic of opportunities.

Romans 14:13. Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.

3. Help individuals experience significance – Significance is the force that changes people lives and perspectives on what matters most.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, so ⁿthat² they may see your good works and ^ogive glory to your Father who is in heave

4. Be accountable – No one is perfect. Show vulnerability.

James 5:16 – Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

5. Be mindful of their needs -A team is more powerful than the sum of its parts – but each part must be continually refurbished and renewed in order for the team to sustain its power.

Colossians 3:12: Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Estella and Lauren

This week we reflect on the Self Management part of Emotional Intelligence

Listen to how Lauren shares what Self Management is and how to be guided by the spirit and not the flesh.

Self-management: Requires high noticing around what spins you and the ability to adjust.

How? Allow the Holy Spirit to guide the flesh vs. the flesh to guide the Spirit.

Romans: 8:5: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on the things of the flesh. Those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on the things of the Spirit.

Flesh: Romans 5:5:  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you live in the flesh you are concerned about the things in the flesh. What are things of the flesh? Anything that distracts you from communion with God: status; fame; popularity; money; opinions of others; greed; malice; self glorification and gratification; jealousy; fits of rage; coveting. Basically like a spoiled child the flesh is never satisfied, it is always craving more. The flesh will also question God and feel victimized: Why me?

Colossians 3:5-10: “ 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

What is your vice? Have high noticing and then the ability to manage the fleshly flare-ups.

Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The Spirit of God dwells in you. When you are in the Spirit you are pleasing to God: heartfelt compassion, putting up with others.

Romans 8:12: We are not debtors to the flesh.

High Noticing is essential for self-management. The fruit of the Spirit self-control and it is an essential ingredient for effective self-management.

Estella continues the conversation by sharing 3 steps in How one can Manage EQ with Gods word.

The How to manage it EQ

Step 1: Gain Knowledge of competencies on an individual level.

When we talk about EQ self Management, one must examine competencies that enable a person to demonstrate intelligent use of their emotions in themselves and others.

Scripture:
Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 16:22 Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it, but the instruction of fools is folly.
Proverbs 1:5 Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance.

Step 2: Align and be accountable to these competencies:

Competences like Emotional self awareness, confidence, control trustworthiness and adaptability should be aligned at all levels

Scripture:
Eph. 4:12: Speaks to “Alignment increases your authority to function in Christ’s kingdom” The Scripture says, “For the equipping (alignment in Greek) of the saints, for the work of service.
Gal. 4:22-31 (Accountable to this) This son of the flesh came about because Abraham and Sarah refused to be accountable to God.
Prov. 11:14, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety”

Step 3: Work with the like minded for maximum EQ performance

If the individual (vision & values), the job (tasks and functions) and the group environment (structure & Systems) are aligned it maximizes stimulation, challenge and performance of EQ.

Scripture:
Matthew 18:20: Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20″For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

Lauren & Estella

As believers, we are sometimes challenged in how to incorporate Gods principles into our leadership.  The task of balancing scripture with the secular world seems difficult at times, but in actuality it can be quite simple.

Understanding Emotional intelligence (EQ) allows people to understand their own emotions better and to take control over them.  It provides temperance and self control allowing for a higher intelligence.

Outlined below are  the 5 components of  EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and Biblical Ways to Apply It

• Self-Awareness: Know you are perfect in his image: Genesis 1:26
• Self-Reflection: Meditate on what He has for you through His Word: Joshua 1:8
• Motivation: Be Abounding: 1 Corinthians: 15:58
• Empathy: Feel the same for others: Romans 12:15
• Social Skills: What you do for others you do for God: Matthew 25:40

Below are also some additional scriptures and thoughts that can help us lead with EQ shared by Lauren.

• John 21:20-22: Avoid comparisons, occupy the space God has entrusted to your care.
• John 10:1-18: Awareness of others: “I know my sheep and my sheep know me.”
• John 18:4-8: A leader  with high emotional intelligence knows their identity and does not rise and fall depending upon the judgments surrounding them. Soldiers came for Jesus: In spite of the struggle Jesus occupied His identity; did not lie to avoid discomfort: “I am He”
• John 18:4-8, too often those in authority will coward back and run from responsibility or blame. High character leadership with emotional intelligence is marked by compassion: John 18: Peter’s denial/
• John 21:15-18, Jesus compassion: Peter do you love me?

Developing Emotional Intelligence takes constant work and reflection. It a skill that can only be mastered when it is a constant focus in our lives.  Just as the scripture says “Study to show ourselves approved”, so is the effects of EQ when constantly studied and used with Gods Word.

~Dr. Estella