Edge God In Podcast 8: How to Be Free From Frustration in Life
Frustration is an emotion that occurs when you want something to happen and it doesn’t. It can be as simple as driving to work. You want to drive to work without any interruptions and all of the sudden you hit traffic: SHAZAM FRUSTRATION slithers onto the scene and steals your peace. In daily life frustration will usually occur in the presence of the following needs:
- The need to be right
- The need to be liked
- The need to understood
- The need to get something you want: a promotion; a sale; a relationship; a break from hardship
All of the above fuels for frustration have one thing in common: NEED. I NEED this to happen in order to feel safe, connected, enough, valued, successful, at peace, confident…what is your muse?
What does God say about all of this NEED in life? What solutions and wisdom does He give us to bring us out of NEED into trust, faith and profound confidence and peace?
- The need to be right: Do you need the last word? The EGO screams for the last word and will twist our inner world hunting and gathering information to prove our case in relationships. What is that about? Where does this deep desire to be right come from? Explore the following statements the next time you feel frustration over wanting to be right:
- If I’m not right then ______________________
- I need you to know that I am right because _______________________________
- Being right is important to me because____________________________________
Solution: Proverbs 21:2: “People may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart.” Lean into God’s wisdom in situations and practice humility along with speaking the truth in love. Resist the urge to convince from a place of self-satisfaction and leave room for the Lord to weigh the heart. Ask in the face of feeling the other person is wrong and you are right and you need to convince them of your position: “Lord grant me the grace of humility and release to feel your peace in the midst of differing opinions having full confidence that your truth will prevail, that is enough for me.”
- The Need to be Liked: Galatians 1:10: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” I remember one time being spun by the thought that a certain person didn’t like me. In the midst of my imploding moment I heard the Lords gentle voice: “Excuse me? Excuse me? (in a very tender and firm intonation) just so you know, you are not here to be liked you are here to be loved and to love.”
Questions for reflection:
- When have you NEEDED the approval of someone else in order to feel good about yourself?
- Do you ever check how many likes you have on social media?
- How much time do you spend checking your connection with human beings during the day (texting, calls, emails?)
- How much time do you spend during your day checking on your connection with God (pausing and praying in God’s guidance and wisdom before moving forward into your next “to-do” item on your list?)
- The Need to be Understood: Romans 15:3: “For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: ‘The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.” The next time you feel misunderstood and frustration is occupying your interior world pause and imagine sitting with Jesus and handing over that need to be understood. Ask him to replace that need with his peace and confidence. Too often our need to be understood is fueled by EGO, the place where we edge God out and take the throne. The truth of many situations in life is that we don’t understand so why get frustrated when someone else can’t understand our perspectives? “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” Proverbs 14:29
Questions for reflection:
- How do you respond when someone does not understand you?
- When you listen and speak is it with the intention to be understood or the curiosity to understand?
- The Need to Get Something I Want: “You crave what you do not have. You kill and covet, but are unable to obtain it. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask. And when you do ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may squander it on your pleasures.” James 4:2-3
- The next time you are frustrated identify what you want in the situation, why you want it and then reflect on how this want glorifies God and supports the person you are committed to being in Christ.