Category Archives: how to

Emotional Intelligence: Step 2

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2nd Step in Emotional Intelligence:

Self-management: Requires high noticing around what spins you and the ability to adjust.

How? Allow the Holy Spirit to guide the flesh vs. the flesh to guide the Spirit.

Romans: 8:5: Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on the things of the flesh. Those who live according to the Spirit have their minds set on the things of the Spirit.

Flesh: Romans 5:5:  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

If you live in the flesh you are concerned about the things in the flesh.  What are things of the flesh? Anything that distracts you from communion with God: status; fame; popularity; money; opinions of others; greed; malice; self glorification and gratification; jealousy; fits of rage; coveting. Basically like a spoiled child the flesh is never satisfied, it is always craving more. The flesh will also question God and feel victimized: Why me?

Colossians 3:5-10: “ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.  You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

What is your vice? Have high noticing and then the ability to manage the fleshly flare-ups.

Colossians 3:12: Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The Spirit of God dwells in you. When you are in the Spirit you are pleasing to God: heartfelt compassion, putting up with others.

Romans 8:12: We are not debtors to the flesh.

High Noticing is essential for self-management. The fruit of the Spirit self-control and it is an essential ingredient for effective self-management.

~Lauren Estella

Edge God In Podcast 14: Emotional Intelligence in God: Step 1

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Holy Spirit, grant me wisdom. Show me who you have created me to be to in this world. Help me to see myself as God sees me rather than how I judge myself. I give you permission to remove everything within me that is not of God, that does not glorify Him or make Him recognizable in my life: my judgments…towards self and others…my conclusions about life that are based in story verses reality, including assuming and mind reading. I am nothing without you Lord, and with you I am everything and feel complete, significant and valued. Refresh me Lord so that I remain in you. Have your way with me in spite of myself.

Edge God In Podcast 14: Leadership: Self-Awareness EQ

Self-Awareness => Self-Management

Social Awareness => Relationship Management

Click Here to Download the PDF Edge God In Bible Study for this Podcast: EdgeGodIn Week 13- 1st Step in Emotional Intelligence

 

Edge God In Podcast 10: Trust Trumps Fear

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Dear Lord, help me to know deep in my soul that you have my best interests in mind so much so that no matter what happens around me in life I am able to trust with complete confidence that with you I am safe and loved.

Edge God In Podcast 10: Trust Trumps Fear

Click Here to Download the PDF Edge God In Bible Study for this Podcast: EdgeGodIn Week 10 Trust Trumps Fear

 

How to Kick In God’s Power…

Are you worn out at Peter was after fishing all night without anything to show for it? Reflect on Luke 5:5 and 2 Peter 2:19. Has your “doing” in life creating an interior prison linking your worth to your achievements? Ask the Lord: where would you have me go today? Who would you have me speak to? What do you want me to spend my time doing with the gifts and talents you have given to me? When Peter stepped away from the enslavement of his own efforts into the Lord’s guidance: “Go out into deep waters and cast your nets” it was then that he came to the end of himself which is when God kicks in. Let Go and Let God Move You into His Will Today.

Let God and Lean Into God. When you get to the end of yourself it is then that God’s mighty power and will begins.

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

2017 10 Things to Believe

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Below are 10 beliefs that I recently heard from one of my spiritual mentors in life, Joyce Meyer and have expanded upon. She has powerful credibility in this area because she was sexually abused by her father until she was 18. She could have believed that she was the abuse and she could have allowed the abuse to define her worth and value; however, she chose to believe 10 things that led to her victory over the mind muck which blocked her joy for many years. Perhaps there is a belief contained in the following information that will help you reclaim your victory over hardship in the New Year.

 

Prune for growth in the area of inner strength and confidence as you step into the New Year remembering that the One who dwells within in is greater than circumstance. This is a practice which led to my own healing and restoration when I went through advanced cancer and divorce at the same time:

 

  1. Believe that God is good, no matter what trial is going on outside of you. I learned through my own trial, through cancer and divorce, that God has the ability to bring about a greater good than had the hardship never even occurred.
  2. Believe that it will ultimately work out. Consider the rose that appears in the midst of the thorns…how is that possible, you may ask, that such beauty appears in the midst of such a pain producing element? Open your eyes in nature and you will see this relationship repeat itself, perhaps as a sign to help us remember when we forget: the rainbow can only appear in or after the storm.
  3. God is greater than your problems and with Him nothing is impossible with God. God believes you can…do you?
  4. Believe that your break through is going to manifest at any moment.
  5. Believe that you hear from God. Don’t ever say, “I wish I could hear from God” say, “I hear from God and I am led by the Holy Spirit.” My first book, Hearing His Whisper, contains my conversations with God before, during and after the trial. They began with the same prayer the young boy Samuel used to unlock his ability to hear the voice of God, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”
  6. Believe that God has heard your prayers and expect an answer. Each day I claim the answer I desire, “Thank you God for my healing.” Just as the blind man when asked by Jesus, “What do you want me to do for you?” replied quickly and perhaps with confidence and faith, “Lord, I want to see.”
  7. Believe that God’s healing power is working in your body and you will feel better and stronger every day.
  8. Believe God gives you favor every where you go and that you don’t have to work at being accepted by people. Let God give you favor. Moving into the New Year I have started to proclaim the following statement as I transition from one activity to another: “God’s favor is with me where ever I go.”
  9. Believe that God is working in your life and the lives of your loved ones and you are changing all the time, stepping into the person you are created to be. Believe that God sees you for who you desire to be rather than how your behavior shows up and offer the same generous assumption to those around you. Practice kindness and compassion.
  10. Believe, Believe, Believe! “All things are possible for those who believe.” Mark 9:23. Make love and confidence your way in the New Year!

Happy New Year and God’s Favor to You!

Lauren <><

How to Renew Your Mind

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“Be Transformed by the renewing of your MIND.” Romans 12:1

 

When Moses asked God, “Who Should I say sent me?” God replied,

“I Am”. ‘I Am’ is a declaration of identity. God is the

great I Am omnipresent creator of life. YOU are created in

his image and have the same ability to create your reality

through your thoughts which create your words which

create your perceived reality. Stay awake at the gate of

your thoughts.

 

Be very careful of your choice of words after ‘I Am’ or

‘My’ statements. What ever you choose to put after those

statements becomes linked to your sense of identity.

 

Instead of:

 

I Am sick

I Am exhausted

I Am overwhelmed

My tremor

My illness

My pain

My lonliness

My negative thoughts

 

 

Try speaking these:

 

I Am a child of God, ALL things are possible for me

I Am healthy

I Am energized

I Am capable of coming up with creative solutions

I Am strong

I Am joyful

I Am loving

I Am grateful

My ability to succeed

My ability to heal

My ability to create positive, healthy relationships

My ability to focus on what is working out for me

 

Stay AWAKE at the GATE of your thoughts knowing they form

your spoken words. Your body follows the commands you speak

which create your perspectives on life which become your

reality.

Dear God I give you permission to override me when I take my focus off of you and put it on me and my situation. Grant me the ability to remember that I am not my circumstance unless I choose to be. That you have already overcome all that I feel has overcome me. I want the ability to pause between what happens outside of me in order to invite YOU into my responses. Remind my mind that with YOU all things are possible!

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Self-Control: The Caboose of the Fruits

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Learn => Reflect => Identify & Adjust => Integrate => ACT

The fruits of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and gentleness are all ignited into action through the last fruit of the spirit: self-control. It is the Caboose of the fruits that keep the first 7 on track. Without self-control our ability to respond with love and forgiveness over hatred and judgment is blocked.

Scriptures: Learn:

“For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of POWER, Love & Self-Control.” 1 Timothy 1:7

“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:1

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” Zechariah 4:6

Reflect/Identify & Adjust:

One of my favorite reminders of who I am in this world comes from the above verse in 1 Timothy 1:7.  Let’s dismantle this a little to give it more clarity of focus thus increasing our ability to put it into daily action.

First of all, know what you are and what you are not. This releases inner anxiety instantly:

You are a child of God, possessing the blue print of the creator of the universe flowing through your spirit that is beyond all momentary troubles and tribulations.  Your spirit knows itself to be enough, capable and victorious at all times even in the eye of the storm. Simply put, you are first and foremast a spiritual being having a physical experience, as proclaimed by the Christian mystics throughout history. 

You are not your circumstance; judgments from yourself and others; traumatic situations; rejection; fear; doubt or worry…unless you choose to believe you are in which case the spirit of fear will twist the reality of who you are as created in the image AND likeness of God.

For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of POWER, Love & Self-Control. You have a spirit that moves with self-control: the ability to choose a certain response to life that serves your well-being and the well being of all concerned.  We do not use the spirit of self-control enough in our daily life as we play victim to our circumstances: “If I don’t get this certain outcome I won’t be able to handle it”…”life is a struggle”…”I can’t do that”, “Nothing ever works out for me” “I don’t understand why they did that, said that, didn’t do that…why things work out for other people and not for me.”

In order to experience the POWER and the LOVE contained at the heart of our spirit which fuels our ability to create, self-control needs to be resurrected to the front lines of our responses to people, things and circumstances.

Integrate/ACT:

This week practice self-control…step back from your quick responses to life, often fueled by emotional flare-ups of unbridled ambition and seek the wisdom that flows from the Holy Spirit, known as the Counselor: “Give me the words to speak that are in my best interest and reflect the higher good I am created for, or the silence needed for even greater wisdom and guidance.” Remember, true greatness comes through the archway of temperance, humility and love. The gap, which allows wisdom to drop in between what happens around you and your response to it, grows bigger with each act of self-control.

Dear God, I give you permission to resurrect within me the spirit that is my birth right as your child on earth: A spirit of POWER, LOVE and SELF-CONTROL.  In order for me to experience the power of your love through my thoughts, words and responses to the life in front of my face I need the grace of faith in action manifested through self-control.  Help me to remember who I am this week, why I do what I do and the bigger picture in life. Expand my ability to control my thoughts of self defeat, judgment of self and others that render me incapable of accessing the strength and power of my spirit to overcome and powerfully witness to the successful creative nature that manifests a greater good on earth, which I am willing to consider I will focus on at the sunset of this life.  Help me to live my life backwards…doing, saying, creating those things that at my last breath, as I reflect on how I showed up each day, will cause me to hear the sweet words of ultimate success in life: “well done, my good and faithful servant, you remembered who you are, what you are capable of & why, with the gift of each new dawn your heart continued to beat.”

Questions for Growth:

What specific area of your life would you like to practice more self-control this week in order to bring Glory to God?

What could you do today that would help you think about what is good and admirable?

When is it easy to let the Holy Spirit guide your actions? When is it difficult?

Our Next Virtual Bible Study will be October 28th at 9:30 am EST/7:30 am MT/6:30 am PST 

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

How to Speak Like a Leader

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How to Speak Like a Leader Edge God In Virtual Bible Study Notes:

 

Lauren:

 

Out of all of the studies I have taken on managing the tongue one of the most powerful is from Joyce Meyers, The Power of Words series. As leaders in the world, we are held more responsible because of the people we are entrusted to care for and guide. Our mouths will either catapult people into the highest version of who they are created to be or shut them down, and we get to choose. The most essential fruit of the spirit we need to activate in the area of tongue control is that of self-control. Even if you have to excuse yourself from a situation because your tongue is about to sabotage your good efforts, do it. The brain is also at play when it comes to gaining control over your tongue and choosing to build up those around you. Reactive behavior is supported by brain chemistry. How does this look? When you respond the same way over and over, a new neuro-pathway is formed in the brain and produces a chemical that actually excites the brain, you can become addicted to reactive behavior unless you choose to jump in and stop it as soon as you recognize the negative reactive behavior. Neurons the fire together, rewire together. You are the gatekeeper of your will and choice of response.

 

Drag the truth out into the light on how to master you mouth:

 

  • James 3:8: (it’s hard to tame; full of restless evil and deadly poison).
  • Proverbs 18:21 (death & life are in it and those who love it will eat its fruits).
  • Matthew 12:36:37: (Jesus says we will give an account for every careless word we speak…by our words we are justified or condemned).
  • James 3:1-18: Prayerfully read through this one it’s packed full of take aways (if you teach (lead others) you are judged more strictly, more reason to master the mouth).

 

  1. Use your mouth to encourage (Merriam-Webster: to make someone more determined; hopeful, or confident); edify (Merriam-Webster: to teach someone in a way that improves the mind or character); build up (reminding a person that the strength of God within them is greater than circumstance, they have the ability to find a solution):

 

  • 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
  • Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
  • Proverbs 15:4: “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”

 

  1. Bless Everything You Do and Practice Grateful Living: Pause before each email; conference call; team meeting; 1:1 review and bless it in the name of Jesus Christ. Pause between transitions and hit your needs with gratitude. Be thankful and declare it and the bless yourself (words; thoughts; deeds; actions) and pray it over those around you.

 

  • Psalm 100: A Psalm of thanksgiving. Be thankful and say so.
  • Numbers 6:23: “Tell Aaron and his sons, ‘This is how you are to bless the Israelites. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.”
  • Bless your people God has entrusted to your care

 

  1. Be quick to hear and slow to speak: Listen to understand verses to be understood. Remain in a place of observation and pray in grace to see people for who they desire to be rather than how they show up. Get beyond yourself, die to EGO and Edge God In. Resist the urge to speak in doubt, fear and worry into any situation. When we are stressed we hold onto life and tend to micro-manage people and events, we manipulate. We become obsessive about the environment; time and the body. When you are in the place of the Holy Spirit: thinking about what is good; right; true; beautiful excellence and praise worthy you are in your frontal lobe, (40% of the entire brain), which actually calms down the thoughts associated with threat. As quickly as possible when you feel spun out of heart based leadership communication declare the word of God over your circumstance: “I give more authority to the strength of God within me than I do to this momentary disruption in my life and may my words reflect my choice to shift back into the edifying language of the Holy Spirit.”

 

  • 1 John 4:4: “You dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

 

Estella:

 

Speaking like a leader involves that art of communication.

Communication is so important because that is were avoidance of miss-understandings happen allowing open communication.

God has given us guidelines on how and what we should speak.

 

  • Don’t worry about what you should speak as a leader

Psalm19.4 “Let the word of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. O lord my rock and my redeemer.”

2)   God has given his people wisdom – so you will communicate the right way with Gods grace.

Psalm 37:30 – the mouth of the righteous utters Wisdom, and his tongue

3)   Speak good and helpful things to people that will lift them up and improve them

Proverbs 12:25 (ESV) “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

Proverbs 25:11 (ESV) “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

 

  • God’s word gives us valuable insights into how we should speak and it Is important that we follow his guidance and leadership. 

Matthew 12:37 (ESV) “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Our words are a reflection of what is in our hearts, so we should constantly be filling our hearts and minds with what is best.

CLICK HERE TO ACCESS THE VIRTUAL BIBLE STUDY:

HOW TO SPEAK LIKE A LEADER Part 1