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Flipped by Fear? Read This…

Father

So I was flipped into a small PTSD moment yesterday when I saw three missed calls from my doctor. Before I could even grab the tail of fear it had coursed through my blood stream quicker than my next heart beat. With shaky hands I picked up my cell phone and called back the Dr. whose words instantly calmed my entire biology as he said: clear blood work.

All too often we carry trauma from our past into our present and it only takes a small trigger to spin our biology into a stress frenzy…we can’t think, speak, breathe or reason. After I hung up the phone I said out-loud, “WOW God I fell asleep at the gate of my thoughts which gave way to a mini-possession of fear and anxiety. The next time I am tempted to give more power to something outside of me than I am to your presence within me, grant me spontaneous grace to lean all that I am into you before fear takes up residence in my interior castle.”

Two grab and go verses for this situation:

“Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5 AND
“Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.” 1 Peter 5:7-9

 

Greater is HE who lives inside of me than he who is living in the world,

Lauren <><

Be Still & Know Refreshment

Edge God In

Refreshment flows in our choice to be still in the midst of life’s crazy demands. Knowing God’s refreshment flips to the front lines of our responses to life as we take time to pause in stillness before the One who knows how best to refresh our minds, hearts and attitudes on this journey of life.

Why is it that often times when we are overwhelmed we speed up? Our ability to access solution based thinking lies in our choice to slow down, breathe and pray in the attributes of God including wisdom and peace that passes all human understanding.

Today, focus on slowing down when you feel like your life is speeding up. Carve out for yourself mini-retreats that give you the opportunity to tune into God and allow the mind of Christ (as we are told we have 1 Corinthians 2:16) to flip to the front lines of your thoughts; words; deeds and actions. For the One who calls you IS faithful and He will give you the strength, wisdom and motivation to accomplish all that HE has called you into on this journey of life. Be still and watch how the refreshment you seek becomes your set point.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Our Wonderful Counselor

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Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord , that shall stand.                                                         ~Proverbs 19:20-21 KJV

As we ponder on the right things to do in life and the right decisions to make, we need to first go the God for counsel.  We run to seek advice from friends, family, and therapist when the person with all the answers is right there… with you all the times.

Much of the problem comes from us being able to hear what he tells us, confident without uncertainty, that it’s his voice we hear.  This comes with strong conviction and dedication to your relationship with him. Through prayer and a continual building of a relationship with him, we are able to discern is voice, counsel, and instruction.

My constant prayer is that all of us are able to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the lord is talking, advising,  and consoling us in the right paths and choices we make.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace!                             ~Isaiah 9:6 NIV

Lord, let us hear your counsel, and receive your instruction, so that we may be wise at the end!!

Dr. Stella

 

 

Oh Happy Day

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As I turned on my radio on this beautiful Sunday morning, the Sister Act’s version of  “Oh Happy Day” was on.  It is so refreshing to hear this song and remember the simple basics of God’s gift to us.  Edward Hawkins lyrics wrote that “God taught me how to watch, fight, and  pray.”  How did God do this?

  1. His blood on Calvary saved us from hell and we are now able to repent of our sins.
  2. We have strength through his spirit to fight the devil and evil.
  3. He teachings us in the bible  to pray at all times to Jesus.
  4. We are to watch for his return. Exciting!!!

Rejoice today and everyday knowing that no matter what we’re going or working through our worries about sin has been washed away.  What more do we need to feel good about on any given morning!

Praise and Thanks

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I experienced the gift of an answered prayer this week and I am thankful.

Psalm 118:21 – I shall give thanks to You for You have answered me. And You have become my salvation.

As I thank the lord for this gift, I have also been in deep thought about the large amounts of asks I send to the thrown of Christ. They are plentiful.

What a blessing to know that we have someone to go to who answers our prayers!

But have we been as dutiful to thank him like we should?

Let us not forget to take the action to always follow these answered prayers with praise. The lord has been gracious to us and heard our voice, so we must remember to praise and thank him for giving us the desires of our hearts.

Winston Churchill once said: We make a living by what we got… but a life by what we give.

How true it this for our eternal life to come!

Dr. Stella

Gods Love

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The one thing that we are constantly searching for is Love.  But who and what is the source of this emotion? And what does “love” look like?  The answers are throughout the bible, but I have shared five scriptures  that demonstrate the ultimate love of God.

  1. He sacrificed his only son to save us.
  2. He made us more than conquerors.
  3. He loves us when we are deep into our trespasses.
  4. He died for us even though we were sinners.
  5. He saves, rejoices, and quiets us.

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 8:37-39 – No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 2:4-5 – But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved …

Romans 5:8 – but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

5) Zephaniah 3:17 – The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

God’s love is our example and foundation.  Be happy in knowing this!!

~Dr. Stella

Is Your Marriage Strong Enough?

Screen Shot 2015-03-08 at 7.22.33 PMShortly after doing a soft launch for my latest book, Love Differently – Stay Married, I received numerous emails and phone calls from entrepreneurs who wanted the book.  One such email came from a young woman who said, “I’m ready to throw in the towel (this was a newly wed) and pour myself back into my work unless your book helps us make it work.”

According to her new husband, this entrepreneur never stopped pouring herself into her work. He did have an expectation for her though and that was to find the right balance between being a wife, and being with her work. If she couldn’t do it, then he wanted her to close her company.

Being Highly Driven

Entrepreneurs who are highly driven to succeed, without Christ, are often notorious for putting their work before their spouse, family, friends and even themselves.  This can lead to a path of:

  • Too much time away from the spouse or family
  • Little understanding of each others needs
  • Not sharing in the household burdens
  • No boundaries to show where work ends and marriage begins
  • No one championing or uplifting when affirmation is sought
  • Not being there for emotional or physical connections are desired

To whom much is given, much is required.

When spouses’ join together as a team, or take their vows in a covenant, they become one ‘flesh’ the Bible says. They ultimately share the burden of everything; work, View More: http://lacifrazierphoto.pass.us/cunninghamhousehold chores, parenting responsibilities, schedules, finances and more. They are each others best friends and soul mates.  They are their mate’s champion and teacher.  They see that work-life priorities are something that takes time to learn and they choose to be patient while their partner builds new skill sets. This is a healthy perspective for any marriage, but particularly as a spiritual entrepreneur who often holds themselves to a higher standard than most.

It wasn’t until after 2 years of taking a Sabbatical with God, studying human behavior, healthy relationships and marriage, that I became a life coach in 2005. While working with couples from all over the world I discovered that those who were traumatized by unhealthy relationship examples in their past were at risk for repeating unhealthy patterns in their future.  It truly didn’t matter if they owned a business, worked for someone else, were Christ-followers or Athiests. If a person’s perspective about relationships is unhealthy to begin with, then running a business only adds to the present perceived trauma for them.

History repeats itself

I didn’t believe that history would repeat itself in my own marriage.  I trusted that we would do things differently than our parents did right from the start. I was right, in the beginning, while everything was new and different.

We both came from divorced and divided homes however, so eventually I heard him repeatedly say, “I fix ‘things’ not relationships.” and he often heard me say, “We’ve got to fix things right now.” Within these two limiting beliefs, history had already repeated itself.

Detach from the outcome

The most important lesson I learned in marriage was to detach from the outcome. I learned this lesson one sunny morning while sitting at the breakfast table. I heard in my spirit, “What would happen if you were to surrender your husband to me today and let go of the outcome instead of trying to steer him where you believe he ought to go?”
It literally took my breath away.

Screen Shot 2015-06-23 at 2.03.55 PMI stared into the cup of hot chocolate I was stirring (this was before I removed sugar from my diet) and I realized the marshmallows weren’t melting.  The cup wasn’t hot enough so I got up and popped it in the microwave. As it was heating, I leaned against the stove and crossed my arms. I knew I need to respond to that question. I said with a little resistance (okay maybe a lot of resistance), “I guess I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done that before.”

The microwave timer went off and I opened the door to take my cup out and that’s when I heard, “The health of your marriage is a direct reflection of your personal walk with me.”

I look down at the marshmallows to see they were a bubbling white blend of goo. “A direct reflection.” I repeated to myself.  That statement held a lot of weight for me and still does to this day.  If my walk with God is about obedience and love, then what am I doing in relationship to my spouse?  I didn’t know it then, but it would take me years to answer this question because change takes time. It takes effort. It takes lots and lots of patience and practice before your heart melts just like those marshmallows, and you truly become one.

If you contemplate on your own marriage, and find that it isn’t the greatest reflection of your walk with God, take heart. It’ll help you to know that we ALL experience those times when we’d rather control our way through life. Its human nature. But when we allow ourselves the time to sit at Jesus’ feet, we realize we can fully let go of the outcome because there is no longer any need to control or protect.  Ultimately, that is where we all want to be.

To know Jesus better can only happen one way, just like with our spouses. By spending time getting to know him.  You can find Free Bible lessons right here.

While I admit that Christ-like principles won’t appeal to everyone, it will be a HUGE leap for motivated couples who want to put God first in their life. I trust that if you’re still reading this, then you will love differently in order to stay married, so that when those rough times come, you too will be able to say, “Yes, my marriage is definitely strong enough.”

Always Love,

Kellie

You Are Enough.

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You are enough.

Three simple words that have the power to change our daily lives. When we come to truly believe these words, we are free to fully express ourselves and even come to love ourselves. All too often we find ourselves throughout the day glancing in dismay at a bathroom mirror, or hopelessly staring at another man or woman that possess a physical attribute that we ourselves wish we had. Why is that? Why do we seek to compare, to change, to perfect?

We treat our own bodies as if they are broken. We come to believe the lies that if we were just skinnier, just stronger, just a little bit more, then we would be happy. And here lies the problem. We come to believe that our self worth, our happiness, lies within our own grasp. We believe it is something that must be attained and earned. We forget that we are not perfect because society says so, but we are perfect because our Father says so. We are not worthy of love because we look a certain way, but because we have been handcrafted for love, by Love.

Our self worth and dignity, and herein our happiness, lie not in something that we can attain, but in someone who has created us, loves us, and wants the very best for us. This very person has also proven that we are worth dying for. Today I invite you to try believing in this truth. Believe that you are loved, you are smart, you are beautiful, you are strong, and you are enough. Then sit back and watch the beauty that will unfold as you truly begin to live. Any time that you need a reminder simply look at a crucifix, for there in the eyes of the man hanging on that cross, you will find just how much you are truly worth.

In Him,

Kaylin <><

Pursue What Leads to Life Satisfaction

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One of the first verses I memorized at 17 was John 10:10: I have come that YOU may have LIFE and have it to the FULL.” Jesus desires for us to experience life satisfaction, to have a joy within us that does not rise and fall depending upon how the world judges us at a single moment in time.

The next verse I memorized was Galatians 5:1: “It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set you FREE stand firm then and do not allow yourself to be burdened by the yoke of slavery.” Slavery to what? To the shiny objects, selfish ambitions and the ‘Fame Game’ which distracts me from the fullness of life Jesus died to give me? The world screams and God whispers. In order for our ability to tune into those things that truly bring about the experience of Jesus proclamation: I have COME that you may have LIFE to the FULL, it is essential that we stand firm and not allow ourselves to be burdened by those things that perish within the human heart as quickly as they enter.

What do you spend your time pursuing in life? This will reveal the position of your heart. It is not so much what you do throughout the day of life you have been blessed with but the person behind what you do that reveals the presence of God through our words, thoughts, deeds and actions. Examine the motives behind those things you choose to pursue. Why are you spending your efforts in this direction? Will this produce fruit that will last or fruit that will give you a momentary hit of satisfaction? Why do you do what you do and does it align with the person you are committed to being in this world?

I woke up with this verse on my mind and in my heart: “He who pursues Righteousness & Love finds LIFE, PROSPERITY & HONOR” Proverbs 21:21
Righteousness: to be aligned with high moral standards. Life satisfaction flows easily when we are aligned with our highest good and the good of all concerned. “When I show up in life with nothing to hide because I practice humility; integrity; love and authenticity, my sleep is sound and content. I am willing to admit when I am wrong and I am conscious of good and bad behavior along with a willingness to learn, adjust and understand.”
Love: the ability to authentically seek the highest good of another person, often times associated with intense feelings of care, concern and affection. “When I love first and then step out and lead I put to the front lines of my response to another human being the following attributes: patience; kindness; gentleness; forgiveness; humility; trust; confidence; perseverance.”

Because of His Love,

Lauren <><

Edge God In the College Craze

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It is easy to get caught up in life, or at least what we perceive that to mean. We all have our schedules, our to-do lists, our big goals we are reaching for…but what does it all mean? What is the purpose? There has never been a time in my life more surrounded by things to do, options to fill your hours with, than my time in college.

You have unlimited clubs you could join, people you could invest in, homework you could be doing, jobs and internships to focus on…and a new freedom to do whatever you want. So you learn to prioritize, to choose what is truly important to you and make time for it. And it is this lesson that we have to take into our daily lives. When you choose to make God your priority, to edge Him into your life in more and more ways, all of the sudden you find the purpose for your work, the fulfillment for your life. All of the sudden, you are an irreplaceable part in an eternal story; no longer simply building up an Earthly sand castle that could fall with the next wave that life throws at you. Edge God In, and He will take care of the rest.